Hw29

2018-11-19 · 첨삭 강사 Lynn

학생이 쓴 원문

The world has been changed a lot for many years and also Korea has been experienced many changes. I want to talk about Korea because I haven\'t been other countries so don\'t know about them in detail. I think there is the most serious problem in Korea, the birth rate. I saw an article about that yesterday, and it said the birth rate is decreasing gradually and this became a serious value. According to article, the number of baby born by a woman is only 1.05 in her total life. It means the population of Korea will be half after a generation. However, the goverement cannot compel women to deliver a child because this is a private dicision, so the government can olny encourage people to do that with politics. I think this problem is the biggest what we faced and have to solve now.

강사 첨삭

Hi there Jay!(\",)

Our problem is the opposite. We have a population explosion in our country. Our population is very young compared to your country. As there are problems with low birthrate, there are also a lot of problem with high birth rate. The perfect solution is to find the perfect balance.

~T. Lynn

The world has been changed a lot for many years and also Korea has been experienced many changes.

>> The world has been changed a lot for many years and also Korea has been experiencing many changes.

 I want to talk about Korea because I haven\'t been other countries so don\'t know about them in detail.

>> I want to talk about Korea because I haven\'t been to other countries so I don\'t know about them in detail.

I think there is the most serious problem in Korea, the birth rate.

>> I think the most serious problem in Korea is the birth rate.

I saw an article about that yesterday, and it said the birth rate is decreasing gradually and this became a serious value.

>> I saw an article about that yesterday, and it said the birth rate is decreasing gradually and this became a serious problem.

According to article, the number of baby born by a woman is only 1.05 in her total life.

>> According to the article, the number of baby born by a woman is only 1.05 in her total life.

It means the population of Korea will be half after a generation.

>> correct!

However, the goverement cannot compel women to deliver a child because this is a private decision, so the government can olny encourage people to do that with politics.

>> correct!

I think this problem is the biggest what we faced and have to solve now.

>>I think this is the biggest problem we are facing now and we have to solve it as soon as possible.

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