Hw38

2018-12-10 · 첨삭 강사 Lynn

학생이 쓴 원문

If I have a plan to marry someon, the house is the most important. But I am too young to prepare a wedding, so I will choose spending my money for special holiday. I always think that experiences are the most important in my life. I can learn many things from travels like broad veiwpoints, changing of bias and so on. I think it is important to widen veiwpoints in my ages. If I want to succeed in the future, I have to check changing of trend and it could be caught by my broad view points. In addition,if I have some bias for something,I could miss important things and it would be crucial for my success. Thus, traveling around the wolrd can improve me in these points.

강사 첨삭

Hey Jay,

Life is supposed to be an adventure. Traveling new places, meeting new people - that\'s the greatest adventure.(\",)

~Lynn

If I have a plan to marry someone, the house is the most important.

>> correct!

But I am too young to prepare a wedding, so I will choose spending my money for special holiday.

>> correct!

I always think that experiences are the most important in my life.

>> correct!

I can learn many things from travels like broad veiwpoints, changing of bias and so on.

>> correct!

I think it is important to widen veiwpoints in my ages.

>> I think it\'s important to widen my viewpoints at my age.

 If I want to succeed in the future, I have to check changing of trend and it could be caught by my broad view points.

>> If I want to succeed in the future, I have to check the changing trend and it could be caught by my broad view points.

In addition,if I have some bias for something,I could miss important things and it would be crucial for my success.

>> correct!

Thus, traveling around the world can improve me in these points.

>> correct!

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