I agree that people\'s freedom should be respected.
학생이 쓴 원문
ESSAY: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television, newspapers, magazines, and other media pay too much attention to the personal lives of famous people such as public figures and celebrities. Use specific reasons and details to explain your opinion.
I agree with that those kinds of media pay attention too much some specific people.
I understand that media want to attract many people\'s attention but I do not agree with that. First of all, all the people have a authority of freedom of their lives. Too much attention of the personal lives, It makes a interruption of someone\'s life. Even if you are famous people they have a authority of freedom of life. We should respect privilege of all people respectively because you don\'t have authority to interrupt other people\'s freedom. So the media should keep not to interrupt private life even they are famous people.
강사 첨삭
Good morning Sir JY~! ^^ Thank you for always doing your homework diligently~!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I agree with that those kinds of media pay attention too much some specific people.
>>> I agree with that those kinds of media pay attention too much on some specific people.
I understand that media wants to attract many people\'s attention but I do not agree with that.
>>> CORRECT
First of all, all the people have a authority of freedom of their lives.
>>> First of all, people have the right of freedom in their lives.
Too much attention of the personal lives, It makes a interruption of someone\'s life.
>>> Too much attention of other personal lives interrupts someone\'s life.
Even if you are famous people they have a authority of freedom of life.
>>> Even if they are famous, they have the right to privacy.
We should respect privilege of all people respectively because you don\'t have authority to interrupt other people\'s freedom.
>>> We should respect privilege of all people respectively because we don\'t have the right to interrupt other people\'s freedom.
So the media should keep not to interrupt private life even they are famous people.
>>> So the media should stop interrupting private lives even if they are famous people.
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