I know a story.

2014-03-03 · 첨삭 강사 Nina

학생이 쓴 원문

Mentally ill people are not doing well in society. In these days, people tend to don't care about their neighbor, so many mentally ill persons are isolated from society. They became desperate and feel loney and lethargic. some choose a drastic means to solve an isolation. long time ago, there was a blind girl who couldn't see because of her eye disease. She became lethargic. however some day she met a nurse who proclaimed that she could cure her mental illness. Many doctors didn't believe that but, finally she took care of her. and the mental ill was gone. she also met a doctor and cured her sight. when she grew up, she decided that she would became a nurse. and she found the girl who was in exactly same circumstance. The girl was blind, even she hardly heard a sound. She took care of her as the nurse treated her. She was Sullivan. and of course the girl was Helen Keller. It is great story.

강사 첨삭

Hi there! :p)
How are you doing?
Did you enjoy your weekend?
I hope you had a good time.
Anyway, you can tell everything during our class later.
See you then!
Have a great day ahead!
T. Nina ^^

Mentally ill people are not doing well in society.
>> correct!
In these days, people tend to don\'t care about their neighbor, so many mentally ill persons are isolated from society.
>> These days, people tend not to care about their neighbor, so many mentally ill people are isolated from the society.
They became desperate and feel loney and lethargic.
>> They become desperate, feel lonely, and lethargic.
some choose a drastic means to solve an isolation.
>> Some are choosing drastic means to solve the isolation.
long time ago, there was a blind girl who couldn\'t see because of her eye disease.
>> correct! (capitalization)
She became lethargic.
>> correct!
however some day she met a nurse who proclaimed that she could cure her mental illness.
>> However, one day she met a nurse who said that she could cure her mental illness.
Many doctors didn\'t believe that but, finally she took care of her.
>> correct!
and the mental ill was gone.
>> And her mental illness was gone.
she also met a doctor and cured her sight.
>> correct! (capitalization)
when she grew up, she decided that she would became a nurse.
>> correct! (capitalization)
and she found the girl who was in exactly same circumstance.
>> And she found a girl who has the same situation like her.
The girl was blind, even she hardly heard a sound.
>> The girl was blind and she hardly hears a sound.
She took care of her as the nurse treated her.
>> She took care of her as a nurse and she treated her.
She was Sullivan. and of course the girl was Helen Keller.
>> correct!
It is great story.
>> It is a great story.^^

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