I made my own template for speaking, plz proofread it.
학생이 쓴 원문
Sitting down for too long increases your risk of chronic health problems such as obesity[o BI sati], shortened muscles. Even if you exercise but spend a large amount of time sitting, you are still risking metabolic[ME ta BAlik] syndrome. and especially if you consistently sit with poor posture or don’t use an ergonomically designed chair or workstation, it can also cause problems with your back such as compression in the discs in your spine, leading to premature degeneration, which can be very painful.
I was a child from an underprivileged family background, which means I can not help doing my best to overcome the poverty I suffered from. I believed and still now believe the possibility to realize what I want is directly proportional to the amount of effort based on an appropriate strategy. so I have 3 steps : planning, doing and doing again. One of my friends described me as ‘an achiever, and i totally agree with him.
Well i’m digressing a lot, go back to the topic.
강사 첨삭
Hi Louie!
Remember that in speaking, make sure to stick to the basics.
Avoid confusing terms or words that would invite more questions.
You want to answer the question on your first try.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
Sitting down for too long increases your risk of chronic health problems such as obesity[o BI sati], shortened muscles.
>> Sitting down for too long increases the risk of chronic health problems such as obesity and shortened muscles.
Even if you exercise but spend a large amount of time sitting, you are still risking metabolic[ME ta BAlik] syndrome.
>> Even if you exercise but spend a large amount of time sitting, you are still risking metabolic syndrome.
and especially if you consistently sit with poor posture or don’t use an ergonomically designed chair or workstation, it can also cause problems with your back such as compression in the discs in your spine, leading to premature degeneration, which can be very painful.
>> This is especially true if you consistently sit with poor posture or don’t use an ergonomically designed chair or workstation.
it can also cause problems with your back such as compression in the discs in your spine, leading to premature degeneration, which can be very painful.
>> It can also cause problems with your back such as compression in the discs in your spine, leading to premature degeneration, which can be very painful.
I was a child from an underprivileged family background, which means I can not help doing my best to overcome the poverty I suffered from.
I was a child from an underprivileged family background, which means I can not help doing my best to overcome the poverty I suffered from.
>> I was a child from an underprivileged family, which means I can not help doing my best to overcome the poverty I suffered from.
I believed and still now believe the possibility to realize what I want is directly proportional to the amount of effort based on an appropriate strategy.
>> I believed and still believe the possibility to realize what I want is directly proportional to the amount of efforts based on an appropriate strategy.
so I have 3 steps : planning, doing and doing again.
>> So I follow 3 steps : planning, doing and doing again.
One of my friends described me as ‘an achiever, and i totally agree with him.
>> One of my friends described me as an achiever, and I totally agree with him.
Well i’m digressing a lot, go back to the topic.
Well i’m digressing a lot, go back to the topic.
>> Well I’m digressing a lot so let\'s go back to the topic.
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