I need corrections on the following sentences.

2013-12-13 · 첨삭 강사 abby

학생이 쓴 원문

During last two years, I was an art supporter of artists having autism. I met these artists when I worked as a staff of non-profit organization, Raw-side, where has discovered people who performed their own art works without proper art education. When I had a workshop with the artists I didn’t need to talk much but the time with them was not boring at all because they were continuously drawing or making something with high concentration. Furthermore, I could observe how they respond to my suggestion through their attitudes and art works, and they were very witty then my thought. Since results of workshop were unpredictable every times, I used to become an observer not a tutor. Some people might said that art play role as therapy, however I believe that art is not limited as a method for healing someone’s mind or conveying moral messages. I published a book titled ‘A calm balanceable new attack’ which contains nine essays from people related with Raw-side : art supporters, a documentary director, a philosopher, a researcher of policy and a curator. I wished to find the reasons why these artists and their art works triggered perturbation from diverse range of people. I didn’t get exact conclusions at that time but I could convince myself that art can be a attractive medium to communicate with different people universally.

강사 첨삭

Hello there [이름]! Thank you for sending me an essay today! You did a good job! I appreciate your effort everyday. Keep up the good work! See you! ~ T. Abby ~ During last two years, I was an art supporter of artists having autism. >> For the past two years, I had been a supporter of artists who have autism. OR> Two years ago, I was a supporter of artists who have autism. I met these artists when I worked as a staff of non-profit organization, Raw-side, where has discovered people who performed their own art works without proper art education. >> I met these artists when I worked as a staff of a non-profit organization called Raw-side, where it discovered people who perform their own art works without proper education. When I had a workshop with the artists I didn’t need to talk much but the time with them was not boring at all because they were continuously drawing or making something with high concentration. >> When I had a workshop with the artists, I didn\'t need to talk much with them at that the time. It was not boring at all because they were continuously drawing things or they were concentrated in doing something. Furthermore, I could observe how they respond to my suggestion through their attitudes and art works, and they were very witty then my thought. >> Furthermore, I was able to observe how they responded to my suggestions through their attitude, art works and they were very witty. Since results of workshop were unpredictable every times, I used to become an observer not a tutor. >> Since the results of the workshop were unpredictable, I used to be an observer not a tutor. Some people might said that art play role as therapy, however I believe that art is not limited as a method for healing someone’s mind or conveying moral messages. >> Some people might say that art plays a role as a therapy, however, I believe that art is not limited as a method for healing someone\'s mind or conveying moral messages. I published a book titled ‘A calm balanceable new attack’ which contains nine essays from people related with Raw-side : art supporters, a documentary director, a philosopher, a researcher of policy and a curator. >> I published a book titled, \" A Calm Balanceable New Attack\" which contains nine essays from people related to Raw-side such as art supporters, a documentary director, a philosopher, a researcher of policy and a curator. I wished to find the reasons why these artists and their art works triggered perturbation from diverse range of people. >> I wish to find the reasons why these artists and their art works are triggered by perturbation from diverse range of people. I didn’t get exact conclusions at that time but I could convince myself that art can be a attractive medium to communicate with different people universally. >> I didn\'t get the exact conclusions at that time, but I could convince myself that art can be an attractive medium to communicate with different people globally.

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