I think that plastic surgery is not necessary to get a better self-image.
학생이 쓴 원문
ESSAY: Should men and women get plastic surgery to make themselves have a better self-image? Would you do it so?
1. I did not have a experience about plastic surgery.
2. I think that plastic surgery is not necessary to get a better self-image. I think if you want to make a better self-image you have a lot of choice to get it. For example if you have a good grade then you can have a better self-image than before. And if you have harder work than before, you can get a high evaluation from others. It can make that you can get a better self-image than before. Anyway I think that there are many way to improve your self-image other than plastic surgery.
Moreover there might have a unexpected results about plastic surgery I mean bad effect of plastic surgery. Somebody can get addiction of plastic surgery. And additionally you should pay a lot of money and time to have a plastic surgery. I think that plastic surgery is necessary for have a pain about their body.
강사 첨삭
Hi there Sir JY~! ^^ It\'s amazing! I\'m still at work though our city is already under community quarantine. kkk
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
1. I did not have a experience about plastic surgery.
>>> I did not have an experience of plastic surgery.
2. I think that plastic surgery is not necessary to get a better self-image.
2. I think that plastic surgery is not necessary to get a better self-image.
>> CORRECT
I think if you want to make a better self-image you have a lot of choice to get it.
>>> I think, if you want to make a better self-image you have a lot of choices to get it.
For example if you have a good grade then you can have a better self-image than before.
>>> For example, having good grades can have a better self-image.
And if you have harder work than before, you can get a high evaluation from others.
>>> And if you have work hard, you can get a high evaluation from others.
It can make that you can get a better self-image than before.
>>> It can give you a better self-image than before.
Anyway I think that there are many way to improve your self-image other than plastic surgery.
>>> Anyway, I think that there are many ways to improve your self-image other than plastic surgery.
Moreover there might have a unexpected results about plastic surgery I mean bad effect of plastic surgery.
Moreover there might have a unexpected results about plastic surgery I mean bad effect of plastic surgery.
>>> Moreover, there might have an unexpected results on plastic surgeries; I mean bad effects of plastic surgery.
Somebody can get addiction of plastic surgery.
>>> Some people can get addiction from plastic surgery.
And additionally you should pay a lot of money and time to have a plastic surgery.
>>> In addition, you should spend a lot of money and time to have a plastic surgery.
I think that plastic surgery is necessary for have a pain about their body.
>>> I think that plastic surgery is necessary for those who are in pain in their body.
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