I think that poverty is the reason behind most crimes.
학생이 쓴 원문
I think that poverty is the reason behind most crimes. First, everything in our lives is connected to the economy since we have to buy clothes, food, and houses with money. It means money is essential for us to survive. Therefore, a person is going to steal some products if the person is poor and isn\'t able to earn money. Secondly, poverty can make a negative environment. The crime rate is much higher in a slum area than a rich neighborhood. People who live in the slum area are more likely to access drugs and learn how to commit crimes through others who also live in the slum. Lastly, there is little opportunity for the poor to get a job and make money since poverty is inherited with a high probability. The poor usually have a hard time to learn during their school days even though the government provides welfare fund, and it leads them to fail in raising their social position. In conclusion, many crimes are caused by poverty because of survival, surroundings, and less chance.
강사 첨삭
No grammar errors or whatsoever. Well done Su [이름]. You have a a very good and well thought of composition. ^ ^
But, with your opinion, I have to disagree. ^ ^
It is a common belief that poverty is a major reason behind most crimes. This is likely to capture the truth when it comes to a variety of petty crimes such as robbery and pickpocketing. Everyone who is struggling with poverty commits criminal acts and many who fail to the judicial system end up guilty of being poor rather actually being criminals.
-Teacher Jedah
>>CORRECT
First, everything in our lives is connected to the economy since we have to buy clothes, food, and houses with money.
>>CORRECT
It means money is essential for us to survive.
>>CORRECT
Therefore, a person is going to steal some products if the person is poor and isn\'t able to earn money.
>>CORRECT
Secondly, poverty can make a negative environment.
>>CORRECT
The crime rate is much higher in a slum area than a rich neighborhood.
>>CORRECT
People who live in the slum area are more likely to access drugs and learn how to commit crimes through others who also live in the slum.
>>CORRECT
Lastly, there is little opportunity for the poor to get a job and make money since poverty is inherited with a high probability.
>>CORRECT
The poor usually have a hard time to learn during their school days even though the government provides welfare fund, and it leads them to fail in raising their social position.
>>CORRECT
In conclusion, many crimes are caused by poverty because of survival, surroundings, and less chance.
>>CORRECT
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