I think the view that marriage constitutes slavery for women and that freedom for women cannot be wo

2020-04-27 · 첨삭 강사 Jedah

학생이 쓴 원문

I think the view that marriage constitutes slavery for women and that freedom for women cannot be won without the abolition of marriage is true at least in Korea. First, most parents require grandsons when their children get married, and there is no longer free time for women if they have a baby. A baby can\'t do anything by oneself, and he or she needs a mother\'s care for a quite long time even though the time comes when a baby enters a high school. Also, there is a negative bias for women who doesn\'t marry at an early age. This bias and having a baby interact negatively and make women give up their youth. Second, companies don\'t like married women. Ubervisors believe that married women will leave the company so soon since women will be pregnant. Moreover, there is no extra seat for women who finished their nurturing. It means that there will be no freedom in terms of jobs unless the marriage system is abolished. In conclusion, marriage deprives the freedom of women for two reasons.

강사 첨삭

Hi Su [이름]! Thank you for this homework. I really appreciate the effort. ^ ^
Good viewpoints you have given here. I think your opinion is based mostly on facts that is happening in Korea. But generally, I would still have to agree with you. A woman\'s growth is being hampered because of the circumstances that arise once married. ^ ^
-Teacher Jedah 

I think the view that marriage constitutes slavery for women and that freedom for women cannot be won without the abolition of marriage is true at least in Korea. 
>>CORRECT
First, most parents require grandsons when their children get married, and there is no longer free time for women if they have a baby. 
>>CORRECT
A baby can\'t do anything by oneself, and he or she needs a mother\'s care for a quite long time even though the time comes when a baby enters a high school. 
>>A baby can\'t do anything by oneself, and he or she needs a mother\'s care for a period of time, even when that child is already in high school.
Also, there is a negative bias for women who doesn\'t marry at an early age. 
>>Also, there is a negative bias for women who don\'t marry at an early age. 
This bias and having a baby interact negatively and make women give up their youth. 
>>CORRECT
Second, companies don\'t like married women. 
>>CORRECT
Ubervisors believe that married women will leave the company so soon since women will be pregnant. 
>>Supervisors have a perception that it\'s going to be a burden for their company once a married woman gets pregnant and has to leave work.
Moreover, there is no extra seat for women who finished their nurturing. 
>>Moreover, it would be difficult for women to get back to their jobs after giving birth.
It means that there will be no freedom in terms of jobs unless the marriage system is abolished. 
>>CORRECT
In conclusion, marriage deprives the freedom of women for two reasons.
>>CORRECT

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