ielts academic task2

Good morning [이름]!

Thanks for sending you composition.
Well, you can check the corrections I have written below.

I can see that your opinion is well-organized and that is a good point of course.

The problem only comes with the use of tense but that could be fixed.
Anyway, see you again tomorrow and thanks for you time!

Enjoy the rest of the day!

Always,
Kathrine ^^

these days, as the transportation and the internet advance, people tend to move to new area more easily than the past.

>> These days, as transportation and internet are already advancing, people tend to move to the new era easier than the past.

But when the living environment is changed, some challenges are inevitable.

>> correct!
>> or: But as the environment is changing,  some challenges are inevitable.

Maybe people would meet new problems there.

>> correct!

In this essay, the problems and solutions of this are explored.

>> correct! 

>> or: The solutions to these problems or issues would be explored more in this essay.
 the first problem is that we do not know well about the area geographically.

>> correct!

For instance, new immigrants do not know where hospitals are or where fitness centers are in this new city or country.

>> For an instance, new immigrants do not know where the hospitals of fitness centers are in this new city or country.

This point could be big challenge for them.

>> This point could be  a big challenge to them.

People would spend much more time searching the site they need than before. 

>> People would spend a lot of their time searching the site which they need more than before.
 In addition to this, people meet new culture of that region, especially when they move to new country.

>>  In addition to this, people would learn the culture of that region. especially when they move to a new country.

In general, culture could exist in every field such as people, atmosphere, law, something like that.

>> correct!

So, it is not easy to adapt to all of new things.

>>  So, it is not easy to adapt to all new things.

Sometimes immigrants feel confused by the differences from their own country and even get penalty while living there.

>> correct!
 However, there are some hopes.

>> correct!

As for first problem, smart phone and the internet service can be solutions.

>> As for the first problem, smart phones and internet services could be some of the solutions.

Dislike the past, now we can search for information we want at anywhere and anytime.

>> Unlike the past, we can now search for information that we want,  anytime, anywhere.

So, smart technology would save your time in new area. 

>> So, smart technology would save your time in new the area. 
 Meanwhile people can increase the familiarity with new culture by studying.

>>  Meanwhile people can increase their familiarity with new culture by studying.

Books about the country or city are common enough and some individuals who already moved to that place before provide practical tips in their blog sites.

>> Books about the country or city are common enough and some individuals who have been to that before provide practical tips in their blog sites.

Of course, the open mind would also be basic factor to accept new things. 

>> Of course, being open minded is also the basic factor to accept new things.
 In conclusion, even though people would be in hard situation when they change their neighborhood, it is possible to overcome it.

>> In conclusion, even though people would be in a hard situation like being in a new neighborhood, it is possible to overcome it.

smart tech help with dealing with many problems and the right attitude is also helpful to be accustomed successfully.

>> Smart tech helps in dealing with many problems and the right attitude is also helpful to be accustomed successfully.