IELTS essay practice( Topic: All experimentation on animals must be banned?)
학생이 쓴 원문
However, humans should not abuse animals. Animals can feel pain the same as humans. It is ethical to be considerate and feel compassion for animals. If the product that they make is not part of essential products but only for pleasures, for example, beauty products, the manufacturing of it itself should be restrained. It is justifiable to outlaw animal experimentation for non-essential products.
Conclusively, not all experimentation on animals is justifiable, however, it should be encouraged for better safeties for humans. One way to solve this problem would be - instead of simply allowing the experimentation to be conducted, giving the researchers instructions to submit a proposal about why such an experiment is needed providing restrictions for certain industries to respect animals\' rights.
강사 첨삭
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>>correct
>>However, people should not abuse animals.
Animals can feel pain the same as humans.
>>correct
>>Animals can feel the pain as well.
It is ethical to be considerate and feel compassion for animals.
>>It is ethical to be considerate and feel compassionate to animals.
If the product that they make is not part of essential products but only for pleasures, for example, beauty products, the manufacturing of it should be restrained.
>>correct
>>If the product that they make is not part of essential products but only for pleasures, for example, beauty products, the manufacturer should be restricted.
It is justifiable to outlaw animal experimentation for non-essential products.
>>correct
Conclusively, not all experimentation on animals is justifiable, however, it should be encouraged for better safeties for humans.
Conclusively, not all experimentation on animals is justifiable, however, it should be encouraged for better safeties for humans.
>>Conclusively, not all animal testing/experimentation is justifiable. However, it should be encouraged for the safety of humans.
One way to solve this problem would be - instead of simply allowing the experimentation to be conducted, giving the researchers instructions to submit a proposal about why such an experiment is needed providing restrictions for certain industries to respect animals\' rights.
>>correct
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