Ielts speaking part2
학생이 쓴 원문
I am going to take about a tourist spot I have been to and that is Eiffel Tower in France. As many people know, Eiffel Tower is one of the most well-known tourist attractions around the world. I have visited there twice and first time was 7 year ago and it was winter. I was there with my friend and we travelled around the Europe before entering a hospital as a nurse. At that time, I was exhausted as I failed to adopt time difference between South Korea and France and long journey time. when I saw the tower, I thought that the tower was wonderful and twinkling but it was quite desolate and gave me a cold impression at the same time. So we just stayed there shortly. Actually I did’t like the tower much and get a good impression. However, after a few years later ,going back to 2014 I went to France again with my sister and it was summer. I was studying English in the UK and my sister came to the Europe to travel with me. when we got the tower , the weather was fantastic and warm enough
강사 첨삭
Good evening [이름]!
This is a new way editing that would make us locate easier the grammatical suggestions that I made. I will explain how I did it in our class later.
So see you and thank you for your patience in doing your composition of your speaking test.
-T. Donna =)
>> ...the Eiffel Tower in France.
As many people know, Eiffel Tower is one of the most well-known tourist attractions around the world.
>> Correct!
I have visited there twice and first time was 7 year ago and it was winter.
>> ...and the first time was 7 years ago...
I was there with my friend and we travelled around the Europe before entering a hospital as a nurse.
>> ...and we traveled around Europe...
At that time, I was exhausted as I failed to adopt time difference between South Korea and France and long journey time.
>> At that time, I was exhausted as I failed to adopt with the time difference between South Korea and France and the long travel journey.
when I saw the tower, I thought that the tower was wonderful and twinkling but it was quite desolate and gave me a cold impression at the same time.
>> When I saw the tower, I thought that it was wonderful...
So we just stayed there shortly.
>> Correct!
Actually I did’t like the tower much and get a good impression.
>> Actually I did’t like the tower much and did not get a good impression.
>> >> Actually I did’t like the tower much and had a bad impression.
However, after a few years later ,going back to 2014 I went to France again with my sister and it was summer.
>> However, after a few years later ,going back to 2014, I went to France again with my sister and it was summer.
I was studying English in the UK and my sister came to the Europe to travel with me.
>> ...came to Europe...
when we got the tower , the weather was fantastic and warm enough to sit outside.
>> When we got to the tower...
We had a bottle of wine and some cheese in front of the tower and were seeing the sunset.
>> Correct!
I was able to see various angles of the towel with attention. I was impressed and happy being there.
>> Correct! ***tower
That is one of the happiest moments of my life.
>> Correct!
Through these twice visit, I realised that my feeling and experience from a place can depend on many things such as weather, condition and what I do even though I visit the same place.
>> Correct!
Or>> Through visiting this place twice...
>> ...these twice visits...
That’s why I remember that Eiffel Tower is a special and meaningful sight for me and I would like to visit there again and I wonder what I will feel.
>> Correct!
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