ielts task 1
학생이 쓴 원문
The bar graph gives information anout the British proportion of choice in four distinct accomodation when they spend time on holiday in 4 countries.
It is clear that percentage of hotel chosen is the most popular facilities that they want to stay.Itis also worth pointing out that caravan and camping continued to change order in the graph.Looking at the grapgh more closely,Hotel accounted the biggiest proportion in four countries at about 53 in England,followed by self-catering.In fact, the figure of the hotel is more than 6 times as big as that for caravan.Altough there are difference belong 4 countries at about 53 to 43, it accupied top of the graph in all countries.When it comes to self-catering,it is the second way that people prefer at about 20 to 30 in4 differentcountries.However, the proporion showed different figure at about 11 compared to other countries.As far as caravan and camping are concerned,two accomodation remaind similar percentage in many countries.
강사 첨삭
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The bar graph gives information anout the British proportion of choice in four distinct accomodation when they spend time on holiday in 4 countries.
>> The bar graph gives information about the proportion of the choice of British people in four distinct accommodations during holidays in 4 countries.
It is clear that percentage of hotel chosen is the most popular facilities that they want to stay.
>> The bar graph gives information about the proportion of the choice of British people in four distinct accommodations during holidays in 4 countries.
It is clear that percentage of hotel chosen is the most popular facilities that they want to stay.
>> It is clear that the percentage of hotel being chosen is the highest and shows the popularity of the facility British people want to stay in.
Itis also worth pointing out that caravan and camping continued to change order in the graph.
>> Correct
Looking at the grapgh more closely, Hotel accounted the biggiest proportion in four countries at about 53 in England,followed by self-catering.
>> Looking at the graph more closely, hotel accounted for the biggest proportion in four countries at about 53 in England, followed by self-catering.
In fact, the figure of the hotel is more than 6 times as big as that for caravan.
>> In fact, the figure of the hotel is more than 6 times as big as that of caravan.
Altough there are difference belong 4 countries at about 53 to 43, it accupied top of the graph in all countries.
>> Although there are differences among 4 countries at about 53 to 43, it occupied the top of the graph in all countries.
When it comes to self-catering,it is the second way that people prefer at about 20 to 30 in4 differentcountries.
>> When it comes to self-catering, it is the second way that people prefer at about 20 to 30 in 4 different countries.
However, the proporion showed different figure at about 11 compared to other countries.
>> However, the proportion showed different figures at about 11 compared to other countries.
As far as caravan and camping are concerned,two accomodation remaind similar percentage in many countries.
>> As far as caravan and camping are concerned, two accommodations remained at a similar percentage in many countries.
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