ielts task 2
학생이 쓴 원문
In many countries, lots of companies have established. Some became international companies and they compete to provide their customers cheaper, developed products. This is important because its not just good for customers but also good for the countries economy.
But if theres a good thing, bad things come along almost all the time. While they produce items, industrial waste also came out during the process, such as pollution water or useless materials.
Not every companies treat this garbage in right way. For example, some companies pull out their polluted water to near by river and throw useless materials on the ground. This an harm nature and damage nearby communities.
In addition, after the item is used enough or new developed one has produced, people tend to throw away what they originally have and they transform into a garbage. As the develop continues in fast pace, these cycle happens rapidly and this fasten the harm on the nature.
However, the world has changed. In the past, comp
강사 첨삭
Hi [이름]!
The arguments you made here are very good! Your introduction was solid and the body and discussion is very substantial. I have placed some suggestions in black color so that you can locate them easily.
I hope that you can complete typing the rest of the answer as I do not have much time to copy them below. Please send me the remaining part then? Thank you for working hard always.^^
-T. Donna =)
>> In many countries, lots of companies have been established. Some became international companies and they compete to provide their customers cheaper, developed products. This is important because its not just good for customers but also good for the countries\' economy.
But if theres a good thing, bad things come along almost all the time. While they produce items, industrial waste also came out during the process, such as pollution water or useless materials.
In addition, after the item is used enough or new developed one has produced, people tend to throw away what they originally have and they transform into a garbage. As the develop continues in fast pace, these cycle happens rapidly and this fasten the harm on the nature.
However, the world has changed. In the past, comp
But if theres a good thing, bad things come along almost all the time. While they produce items, industrial waste also came out during the process, such as pollution water or useless materials.
>> But if there\'s a good thing, bad things come along almost all the time. While they produce items, industrial wastes also come out during the process, such as polluted water or useless materials.
Not every companies treat this garbage in right way. For example, some companies pull out their polluted water to near by river and throw useless materials on the ground. This an harm nature and damage nearby communities.
>> Not every company treats these garbage in the right way. For example, some companies pull out their polluted water to nearby river and throw useless materials on the ground. This can harm nature and damage nearby communities.
In addition, after the item is used enough or new developed one has produced, people tend to throw away what they originally have and they transform into a garbage. As the develop continues in fast pace, these cycle happens rapidly and this fasten the harm on the nature.
>> In addition, after the item is used enough or new developed one has been produced, people tend to throw away what they originally have and they transform them into a garbage. As the development continues in a fast pace, this cycle happens rapidly and this hastens the harm in nature.
However, the world has changed. In the past, comp
>> Correct!
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.