ielts task 2
학생이 쓴 원문
However, the world has changed. In the past, companies didn`t care about the nature and just focus on making new products. Nowadays, they started to fell the importance of the nature and started to make no waste, nature friendly items. for example, company which makes styrofoam released a new type one. Its like a natural one but an easily decomposed into nature without remaining any waste.
Because of these I disagree with the topic. I would have agree if I wrote this in 20th century or bring off the word ‘seriously’. Of course making products are still damaging our lives but by the hard work from companies and customers, we`re learning how to live along with nature
강사 첨삭
Hi there [이름]!
I agree with the points you have raised here on this composition. Most companies nowadays have placed so much importance on corporate responsibility in such a way that while we are enjoying products as we used to many years ago, we can also take care of our environment at the same time.
You used effective transition as well as appropriate vocabulary. Thank you for sending me this part. I will go over the other to see if you wield your ideas well altogether.
See you in class tomorrow!
-T. Donna =)
>> Correct!
Because of these I disagree with the topic. I would have agree if I wrote this in 20th century or bring off the word ‘seriously’.
Nowadays, they started to fell the importance of the nature and started to make no waste, nature friendly items.
>> Nowadays, they started to feel the importance of nature and started to make no waste and nature friendly items.
for example, company which makes styrofoam released a new type one.
>> For example, a company which makes Styrofoam released a new one/ a new type.
Its like a natural one but an easily decomposed into nature without remaining any waste.
>> It\'s like a natural one but easily decomposed into nature without any remaining waste.
Because of these I disagree with the topic. I would have agree if I wrote this in 20th century or bring off the word ‘seriously’.
>> Because of these, I disagree with the topic. I would have agreed if I wrote this on the 20th century or brought off the word ‘seriously’.
Of course making products are still damaging our lives but by the hard work from companies and customers, we`re learning how to live along with nature.
>> Correct!
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