ielts task2 answer
학생이 쓴 원문
Q: some people think that governments should spend money on those who compete in International games ; while others think money should be spent on the general public.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
To some argue that those who compete in international games as players should get sponsored by governments, on the other hand, others think that governments should spend money on the general public like welfare and infrastructure. From my point of view, I totally agree with the opinion of the former.
I understand why some people believe that national capitals should be spent on the public related an essential basis of people’s lives such as eating foods properly and housing. They also think that International games like World Cup and Olympic Game are not related to their ordinary lives. Because the games are treated as an entertainment by them. Furthermore, they argue that game players are individual and dependent businesses and they even move to
강사 첨삭
Here are additional suggestions to your second question [이름]. Read and spot where the grammar points were inserted.
See you later.
-T. Donna =)
Q: some people think that governments should spend money on those who compete in International games ; while others think money should be spent on the general public.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
To some argue that those who compete in international games as players should get sponsored by governments, on the other hand, others think that governments should spend money on the general public like welfare and infrastructure. From my point of view, I totally agree with the opinion of the former.
>> To some, they argue that those who compete in international games as players should get sponsored by government, on the other hand, others think that government should spend money on the general public like welfare and infrastructure. From my point of view, I totally agree with the opinion of the former.
I understand why some people believe that national capitals should be spent on the public related an essential basis of people’s lives such as eating foods properly and housing. They also think that International games like World Cup and Olympic Game are not related to their ordinary lives.
>> I understand why some people believe that the national capital should be spent on public related matters as an essential basis of people’s lives such as eating foods properly and housing. They also think that International games like (the) World Cup and (the) Olympic Games are not related to their ordinary lives.
Because the games are treated as an entertainment by them. Furthermore, they argue that game players are individual and dependent businesses and they even move to an international team. Therefore, there is no need to invest them using public budget.
>> These games are treated as an entertainment by them. Furthermore, they argue that game players are individuals of dependent businesses and they even move to an international team. Therefore, there is no need to invest in them by using the public budget.
From a long-term and long-distance perspective, there are several reasons why the government invests game players. First of all, game players attend international competitions as a representative of their nation and they contribute to raise the reputation of the country. Moreover, it is linked to increase financial profits and get more opportunities that national companies expand their influence to other countries.
>> From a long-term and long-distance perspective, there are several reasons why the government invests on game/(sports) players. First of all, game players/ (they) attend international competitions as representative of their nation and they contribute to raise the reputation of the country. Moreover, it is linked to increased financial profits and get more opportunities that national companies expand their influence to other countries.
Secondly, international games are able to integrate through the games and communicate with each other actively. Lastly, supporting to the players is an investment like a shock or a fund and even if one player moved to other abroad teams, the nation which he or she was born would be always mentioned.
>> Secondly, international games are able to integrate (what?: camaraderie; sportsmanship;) through the games and communicate with other countries actively. Lastly, supporting the players is an investment like a shock or a fund and even if one player moved to other teams abroad, the nation which he or she was born would be always mentioned.
In conclusion, I understand the opinion that money should be spent on the general public rather than on globally games , but it seems to me that investments to those who attend to the games by public institutions are more valuable and important.
>> In conclusion, I understand the opinion that money should be spent on general public rather than on global games , but it seems to me that investments to those who attend to the games by public institutions are more valuable and important.
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