ielts writing task 2 (answer1-2)

However, there are cultures that people in other country can be reluctant to follow and keep. If wearing a miniskirt is not allowed, many women in Western culture that have the free lifestyle would protest it. This is because wearing a miniskirt is not considered as a offensive thing that do harm to others. On the other hand, it is a bad behaviour if old parents who cannot live without other's help is left alone by their young son by the name of "tradition" and "custom". it is alleged that there was this tradition called "Goryujang" in Korea in the past. However it is not only inadvisable but should also be prohibitive. In conclusion, I believe that small cultral difference that does not hurt people's values should be welcomed so that we communicate with each other more efficiently.

Hi Dennis! Thank you so much for passing a composition. I tried to revise some of your sentences. Kindly check on the corrections that I made ad tell me tomorrow if I interpreted it properly or not. Keep on practicing Dennis and surely you will achieve your goals. Take care!!!Lei J   However, there are cultures that people in other country can be reluctant to follow and keep. >>However, there are some cultures in which foreigners feel reluctant to follow and keep up with. If wearing a miniskirt is not allowed, many women in Western culture that have the free lifestyle would protest it. >>For example, if they will not allow women to wear skirts, many western women who are known to be liberated will protest against it. This is because wearing a miniskirt is not considered as a offensive thing that do harm to others. >>This is because wearing a mini skirt is not offensive and does not harm other people. On the other hand, it is a bad behaviour if old parents who cannot live without other's help is left alone by their young son by the name of "tradition" and "custom". >>On the other hand, it is considered as a bad behavior by the elderly who stick to old traditions and cultures. (Is this what you mean?) It is alleged that there was this tradition called "Goryujang" in Korea in the past. >>correct However it is not only inadvisable but should also be prohibitive. >>However, it is no longer advisable and was prohibited. In conclusion, I believe that small cultral difference that does not hurt people's values should be welcomed so that we communicate with each other more efficiently. >>In conclusion, I believe that cultural difference such as this does not hurt people's values and should be accepted in order for us to have a harmonious relationship with people from other nations.