IELTS writing task1
학생이 쓴 원문
According to the pie chart, over-grazing, over-cultivation, and deforestation are similarily caused to become less productive in agricultural land during the 1990s.(Respectively 35%, 28%, 30%) The research shows 7% is might caused by other reason.
The table chart indicates that it is noticeable that in Europe, 9%of deforestation caused to become less productive in agricultural land. The following figure is over-cultivation(7.7%), and the last reason is over-grazing(5.5%). So, the land totally 23% degraded during the 1990s. In contrast, in Oceania, over-grazing is the most biggest problem (11.3%) in land degration, forestation caused only 1.7%, and over-cultivation is effected any. In North America, the total land degradion percentage is only 5%, in detail, over-cultivation is 3%, over-grazing is 1.5%, and deforestation is 0.2%.
강사 첨삭
According to the pie chart, over-grazing, over-cultivation, and deforestation are similarily caused to become less productive in agricultural land during the 1990s.(Respectively 35%, 28%, 30%) The research shows 7% is might caused by other reason.
The table chart indicates that it is noticeable that in Europe, 9%of deforestation caused to become less productive in agricultural land. The following figure is over-cultivation(7.7%), and the last reason is over-grazing(5.5%). So, the land totally 23% degraded during the 1990s. In contrast, in Oceania, over-grazing is the most biggest problem (11.3%) in land degration, forestation caused only 1.7%, and over-cultivation is effected any. In North America, the total land degradion percentage is only 5%, in detail, over-cultivation is 3%, over-grazing is 1.5%, and deforestation is 0.2%.
The table chart indicates that it is noticeable that in Europe, 9%of deforestation caused to become less productive in agricultural land. The following figure is over-cultivation(7.7%), and the last reason is over-grazing(5.5%). So, the land totally 23% degraded during the 1990s. In contrast, in Oceania, over-grazing is the most biggest problem (11.3%) in land degration, forestation caused only 1.7%, and over-cultivation is effected any. In North America, the total land degradion percentage is only 5%, in detail, over-cultivation is 3%, over-grazing is 1.5%, and deforestation is 0.2%.
According to the pie chart, over-grazing, over-cultivation, and deforestation are similarly caused to become less productive in agricultural land during the 1990\'s (respectively 35%, 28%, and 30%). The research shows that the remaining 7% might caused by other factors.
The table chart indicates that it is noticeable that in Europe, 9% of deforestation has caused agricultural lands to become less productive. The following figures of the determined factors are over-cultivation (7.7%) and over-grazing (5.5%). Therefore, the land that has been degraded during the 1990\'s are at 23% in total. In contrast, in Oceania, over-grazing is the biggest problem (11.3%) in land degradation, deforestation causing only 1.7%, and over-cultivation is affected. In North America, the total land degradation percentage is only at 5%. In detail, over-cultivation is at 3%, over-grazing is at 1.5%, and deforestation is at 0.2%.
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.