IELTS writing task2

Hello, Miss [이름]! The most important tips to write a strong essay in writing task 2 is to learn about the recommended essay length, how to plan your essay, when to give your opinion and how to write an introduction. I also believe that the most effective method to help children to become morally and socially responsible part of a society is to teach them at home and also at school.

~Teacher Chloe

On the other hand, it is true that school has more strict regulations than home such as be on time at school, wearing a school uniform neatly, and having a good relationship with their school mates, thus school can be a positive measure to teach children to be good members of society.

>>On the other hand, it is true that school has more strict regulations than home such as to be punctual, to wear school uniform neatly, and to have a good relationship with classmates and schoolmates, thus these can be positive measures to teach children to be good members of the society.

By following these rules of school, children could have a fundmental manners which require in society as well.

>>By following these school rules, children can have a fundamental manners that are required in the society.

On top of that, there are regular exams in school.

>>Correct!

In order to get a good result in their exam, children aware of that they should make a lot of effort.

>>In order to get a good result in their exams, children get to be aware of that they should make a lot of effort.

From taking an exam, children can learn the feeling of achievement, and this sense of determination is a key factor to be a success in their lives.

>>From taking exams, children can learn the feeling of achievement and the sense of determination is the key factor to succeed in their lives.

In positive consequence with this, they can influence other people or could be a prominent role model to someone’s life.
>>Because of these, they can positively influence others or even make them good role models.
In conclusion, Since both parents and school can play significant role for children to be good members of society, they both should develop good education for it.  

>>In conclusion, since both parents and school can play significant roles to children to be good members of the society, they both should develop good education for them.