ielts1: You have heard about plans to build a supermarket next to the local library. You want to giv

2019-09-09 · 첨삭 강사 Joylin

학생이 쓴 원문

Dear Sir or Madam, I am [이름] Choi and a resident in King Cross Street where King Cross library is located in. I frequently go to the library and I am glad to use the library so far. However, I have heard that a supermarket is going to be next to the library. And I am worried about several problems that it could come from the plan. As you know, the library is important place as a landmark and historical building in our town. Thus, a contraction for building the supermarket could have many troubles. I think one of the huge problems is that the library should be damaged by the construction. Because the library was built more than 100 years ago. So there have been doing many work to maintain the building. The other problem is an enormous noise that the construction could make. It is not allowed any noise in the library and the noise could make many people in the library annoyed and impatient. For these reasons, I suggest that the space beside to the library is chosen as a public site.

강사 첨삭

Hi Ms. [이름]!
Here are my corrections.
I am [이름] Choi and a resident in King Cross Street where King Cross library is located in. I frequently go to the library and I am glad to use the library so far. 
>>Correct!
However, I have heard that a supermarket is going to be next to the library. And I am worried about several problems that it could come from the plan.
>>However, I have heard that a supermarket is going to be built next to the library. And I am worried about several problems that could come from the plan.
As you know, the library is important place as a landmark and historical building in our town. Thus, a contraction for building the supermarket could have many troubles.
>>As you know, the library is an important place as a landmark and historical building in our town. Thus, building the supermarket could cause many troubles.
I think one of the huge problems is that the library should be damaged by the construction. Because the library was built more than 100 years ago. 
>>I think one of the huge problems is that the library could be damaged by the construction. Because the library was built more than 100 years ago. 
So there have been doing many work to maintain the building. The other problem is an enormous noise that the construction could make. 
>>So, they have been doing many works to maintain the building. The other problem is an enormous noise that the construction could make. 
It is not allowed any noise in the library and the noise could make many people in the library annoyed and impatient. For these reasons, I suggest that the space beside to the library is chosen as a public site.
>>Any noise is not allowed in the library because it could make many people in the library annoyed and impatient. For these reasons, I suggest that the space beside the library will be chosen as a public site.

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