If humans are really intelligent and not simply manipulated by their genes like any other animal, wh

2015-08-03 · 첨삭 강사 Nina

학생이 쓴 원문

Ironically, some countries, especially poor countries, have a problem with overpopulation, while some advanced countries are concerned about falling birth rate. Korea is also one of the counties that have been suffering from the low birth rate. The problem of the low birth rate is that the demography of a society will change dramatically. Elderly people who are in need of financial and health support are increasing, while young population who need to contribute to economy is not enough, which makes a deficit of the country’s budget. Korea has been implementing various policies and programs to stimulate birth. The central government provides US$200 to US$300 every month for child care to all the parents who raise 2 to 5 years old babies. The local distric offices also offer US$200 to US$1,000 when a baby is born. If you have three children or more, you are entitled to enjoy various benefit programs such as rent support, tax credit, etc. As a country develops, it will change natually.

강사 첨삭

Hello there Sir [이름]. ^^

Happy Monday. ^^
I hope that you are going to have a great week and month ahead of you.

I totally agree with your ideas that you wrote below.

Thanks for a wonderful composition.

Teacher Nina

Ironically, some countries, especially poor countries, have a problem with overpopulation, while some advanced countries are concerned about falling birth rate.

>> correct

Korea is also one of the counties that have been suffering from the low birth rate.

>> Korea is also one of the countries that has been suffering from low birth rate.

The problem of the low birth rate is that the demography of a society will change dramatically.

>> correct

Elderly people who are in need of financial and health support are increasing, while young population who need to contribute to economy is not enough, which makes a deficit of the country’s budget.

>> correct

Korea has been implementing various policies and programs to stimulate birth.

>> correct

The central government provides US$200 to US$300 every month for child care to all the parents who raise 2 to 5 years old babies.

>> correct

The local distric offices also offer US$200 to US$1,000 when a baby is born.

>> correct

If you have three children or more, you are entitled to enjoy various benefit programs such as rent support, tax credit, etc.

>> correct

As a country develops, it will change natually.

>> To be continued..

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