If I can remove my memory

2021-12-23 · 첨삭 강사 Elise

학생이 쓴 원문

When I was 13 years old, I was trainee in entertainment. My childhood dream is idol, and I was very happy when I heard about pass the entertainment test. But it was my worst memory in my whole life. I should lose my weight more than more, not important diffrent thing like sing and dance. It was so different from what I imagined. Honestly if I can remove that season my memory, totally I will do it.

강사 첨삭

Hi Ann:) 

I heard from one of my students that being a trainee is very hard. There are so much standards you have to meet. I feel bad for you but that\'s okay. :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I\'m so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

-Teacher Elise

When I was 13 years old, I was trainee in entertainment.
>> When I was 13 years old, I was trainee in an entertainment company.

My childhood dream is idol, and I was very happy when I heard about pass the entertainment test.
>> My childhood dream was to become an idol, and I was very happy when I heard I passed the audition.

But it was my worst memory in my whole life.
>> But it was my worst memory of my life.

I should lose my weight more than more, not important diffrent thing like sing and dance.
>> They  were requiring me to loose more weight than improving my singing and dancing skills. 

It was so different from what I imagined.
>> CORRECT

Honestly if I can remove that season my memory, totally I will do it.
>> Honestly, if I can remove that season from my memory, I will totally do it. 

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