If you could change one major historical event?
학생이 쓴 원문
There was sad history in 2014. The high school students in 2nd grade generally go to school trip. On April 16, Danwon high school students were going to school trip by ship. There seemed having a lot of problems with ship. First, The captain was driving with his body drunken. Second, The load on the ship exceeded the vehicle\'s safe capacity. The ship was started to sink when the captain changed the direction suddenly. What\'s worse is that the captain announced and forced people to stay inside with safety jacket. He must\'ve lost his judgement. The poor young students followed the order. The only survivors were a few students who escaped the ship by ignoring the announcement including the captain. It remains as one of the worst tragic affair in Korea. I was really sorry to students on behalf of stupid captain.Even the way our government respond to an accident was extremely late. If I could have super power I would ask the president to rescue them without second thought...
강사 첨삭
1. There was sad history in 2014.
>>CORRECT
OR>> In 2014, there was sad history.
2. The high school students in 2nd grade generally go to school trip.
>>High school students in 2nd grade generally go to a school trip.
3. On April 16, Danwon high school students were going to school trip by ship.
>>On April 16, Danwon high school students were going to a school trip by ship.
4. There seemed having a lot of problems with ship.
>>It seemed that there were e a lot of problems with the ship.
5. First, The captain was driving with his body drunken.
>>First, The captain was driving while drunk.
6. Second, The load on the ship exceeded the vehicle\'s safe capacity.
>>Second, the load on the ship exceeded the vehicle\'s safe capacity.
7. The ship was started to sink when the captain changed the direction suddenly.
>>The ship started to sink when the captain suddenly changed the direction.
8. What\'s worse is that the captain announced and forced people to stay inside with safety jacket.
>>What\'s worse is that the captain announced and ordered people to stay inside with their safety jackets on.
9. He must\'ve lost his judgement.
>>CORRECT
>>He must\'ve lost his senses.
10. The poor young students followed the order.
>>CORRECT
OR>>The poor young students complied with the order.
11. The only survivors were a few students who escaped the ship by ignoring the announcement including the captain.
>>The survivors left were a few students who escaped the ship by ignoring the announcement and the captain.
12. It remains as one of the worst tragic affair in Korea.
>>CORRECT
OR>>It remains as one of the worst tragedy in Korea.
13. I was really sorry to students on behalf of stupid captain.
>>I was really sorry to the students on behalf of the stupid captain.
14. Even the way our government respond to an accident was extremely late.
>>Even the way our government responded to the accident was extremely late.
15. If I could have super power I would ask the president to rescue them without second thought...
>> If I have a super power, I would\'ve ask the president to rescue them without second thoughts.
Very good sentences.
- T. Melody ^^
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