If you could run a company or a business, what kind of business would you be interested in?
학생이 쓴 원문
Many people expect they can be the rich through operating company or own their business. And it is easy to access to private business if they have money. But as I mentioned, business needs lots of experiences and information like location, preference and population. So, I am not that interested in running company. But, if I make own company, I will focus on pet. Increasing the number of one person household, most people raise pet because of loneliness. The interest to pet will be not decreased, rather increased. Especially as pet is accepted as a member of family, people want to feed organic food and snack even though they are expensive. And, vitamin and medicine for pets’ health are also popular between people. My younger sister is also interested in pet’s forage. So, I can hire my sister as my company’s worker. Furthermore, I want to make medicine company to extend lifespan. I hope they live longer with us, especially my pet, Maru.
강사 첨삭
Thank you for this Mary. I would want a company like that too.
Many people expect they can be the rich through operating company or own their business.
>>> Many people expect they can be rich through operating a company or owning their business.
And it is easy to access to private business if they have money.
>>> And it is easy to have access to private business if they have money.
But as I mentioned, business needs lots of experiences and information like location, preference and population.
>>> correct
So, I am not that interested in running company.
>>> So, I am not that interested in running a company.
But, if I make own company, I will focus on pet.
>>> OR: But, if I make my own company, I will focus on pets.
Increasing the number of one person household, most people raise pet because of loneliness.
>>> Due to the increasing number of one person household, most people raise pet because of loneliness.
The interest to pet will be not decreased, rather increased.
>>> The interest to pet will not be decreased, rather increased.
Especially as pet is accepted as a member of family, people want to feed organic food and snack even though they are expensive.
>>> correct
And, vitamin and medicine for pets’ health are also popular between people.
>>> correct
My younger sister is also interested in pet’s forage.
>>> correct
So, I can hire my sister as my company’s worker.
>>> correct
Furthermore, I want to make medicine company to extend lifespan.
>>> correct
>>> OR: Furthermore, I want to make a medicine company to extend their lifespan.
I hope they live longer with us, especially my pet, Maru.
>>> correct
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.