If you could solve ONE of the world's problems, what would it be and why?
학생이 쓴 원문
Earth is the tiny planet. Thinking about the Universe, earth is just the small dot. However, 7.4 billion people are living in this small world. We have so many problems. The world is divided by religion, ideology, politics, nationalism, race, and even economy. The world is dominated and controlled by a few strong countries and influential people. Political and economic power are concentrated on the small number of people. We should relieve the unequal distribution of wealth and power. Inequality of opportunity is a fundamental issue in the modern society. The poor cannot even receive proper education, so they have less chance to succeed. All the humans should treated equally regardless of whether they are rich or poor. Basic human rights such as receiving education and being treated with dignity should be guaranteed anywhere and anytime. The weak people should not be ignored or expelled from the society. We need to embrace such vulnerable people and live together.
강사 첨삭
Good afternoon, Sir [이름]!
Happy Tuesday!
I definitely agree with your ideas.
There are a lot of poor people who want to study in a university however, they don\'t have the means of doing it.
I can say that there are a lot of ways to help them.
There should be scholarships that will be only for them in order for the goverment to help them succeed.
Anyway, thanks for your essay. I learned something again. ^^
See you in class.Teacher Nina
Earth is the tiny planet.
>> correct
Thinking about the Universe, earth is just the small dot.
>> correct
>> OR: Thinking about the universe, Earth is just the small dot.
However, 7.4 billion people are living in this small world.
>> correct
We have so many problems.
>> correct
The world is divided by religion, ideology, politics, nationalism, race, and even economy.
>> correct
The world is dominated and controlled by a few strong countries and influential people.
>> correct
Political and economic power are concentrated on the small number of people.
>> correct
We should relieve the unequal distribution of wealth and power.
>> correct
Inequality of opportunity is a fundamental issue in the modern society.
>> correct
The poor cannot even receive proper education, so they have less chance to succeed.
>> correct
All the humans should treated equally regardless of whether they are rich or poor.
>> All humans should be treated equally regardless of whether they are rich or poor.
Basic human rights such as receiving education and being treated with dignity should be guaranteed anywhere and anytime.
>> correct
The weak people should not be ignored or expelled from the society.
>> correct
We need to embrace such vulnerable people and live together.
>> correct
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