If you could solve ONE of the world's problems, what would it be and why?

2016-07-19 · 첨삭 강사 Nina

학생이 쓴 원문

Earth is the tiny planet. Thinking about the Universe, earth is just the small dot. However, 7.4 billion people are living in this small world. We have so many problems. The world is divided by religion, ideology, politics, nationalism, race, and even economy. The world is dominated and controlled by a few strong countries and influential people. Political and economic power are concentrated on the small number of people. We should relieve the unequal distribution of wealth and power. Inequality of opportunity is a fundamental issue in the modern society. The poor cannot even receive proper education, so they have less chance to succeed. All the humans should treated equally regardless of whether they are rich or poor. Basic human rights such as receiving education and being treated with dignity should be guaranteed anywhere and anytime. The weak people should not be ignored or expelled from the society. We need to embrace such vulnerable people and live together.

강사 첨삭

Good afternoon, Sir [이름]! Happy Tuesday! I definitely agree with your ideas. There are a lot of poor people who want to study in a university however, they don\'t have the means of doing it. I can say that there are a lot of ways to help them. There should be scholarships that will be only for them in order for the goverment to help them succeed. Anyway, thanks for your essay. I learned something again. ^^ See you in class.Teacher Nina   Earth is the tiny planet. >> correct Thinking about the Universe, earth is just the small dot. >> correct >> OR: Thinking about the universe, Earth is just the small dot. However, 7.4 billion people are living in this small world. >> correct We have so many problems. >> correct The world is divided by religion, ideology, politics, nationalism, race, and even economy. >> correct The world is dominated and controlled by a few strong countries and influential people. >> correct Political and economic power are concentrated on the small number of people. >> correct We should relieve the unequal distribution of wealth and power. >> correct Inequality of opportunity is a fundamental issue in the modern society. >> correct The poor cannot even receive proper education, so they have less chance to succeed. >> correct All the humans should treated equally regardless of whether they are rich or poor. >> All humans should be treated equally regardless of whether they are rich or poor. Basic human rights such as receiving education and being treated with dignity should be guaranteed anywhere and anytime. >> correct The weak people should not be ignored or expelled from the society. >> correct We need to embrace such vulnerable people and live together. >> correct

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