If you could travel abroad and visit three places, where do you want to go and why?
학생이 쓴 원문
All three are different countries.
The first country I want to visit is Singapore.
Singapore is a place where my mother visited and said it was good. That\'s why I thought I wanted to go there. Also, there is a Universal Studio in Singapore, and it is an amusement park that I really want to go to, so I really want to go there.
The second country I want to visit is Finland.
I often thought of going to Northern Europe, but after hearing that there is Santa Village, I thought of it. Also, because the aurora is often visible, I wanted to visit the aurora because I wanted to see it.
The thrid country I want to visit is Dubai.
This is also one of the places my mother visited and said it was good. I\'ve never been to a Middle Eastern country yet, so I\'m curious. I want to visit more because I heard that there are many luxurious places with large deserts and rich people. However, there is a problem of women\'s rights or unstable security, so I think I wll consider whether to actually visit of not
강사 첨삭
Hi!
Thanks for sending your writing. You explained your travel wishes really well! I just fixed a few small grammar parts to help it sound more natural in English. Still, you\'re doing great! I also hope that soon, you\'ll get the chance to travel to these wonderful places. I also want to visit Finland for the same reason as yours. ^^
~ Teacher Gina
All three are different countries.
>> CORRECT.
>> Or: These are three completely different countries.
The first country I want to visit is Singapore.
>> CORRECT.
>> Or: Singapore is the first country on my travel list.
Singapore is a place where my mother visited and said it was good.
>> Singapore is a place my mother visited and said was nice.
>> Or: My mom has been to Singapore and spoke highly of it.
That\'s why I thought I wanted to go there.
>> CORRECT.
>> Or: That made me want to visit there.
Also, there is a Universal Studio in Singapore, and it is an amusement park that I really want to go to, so I really want to go there.
>> CORRECT.
>> Or: Since Universal Studios is in Singapore, I became even more eager to go.
The second country I want to visit is Finland.
>> CORRECT.
>> Or: Finland is the second country I’d like to visit.
I often thought of going to Northern Europe, but after hearing that there is Santa Village, I thought of it.
>> I had often thought about going to Northern Europe, but hearing about Santa Claus Village made me even more interested.
>> Or: I’ve wanted to go to Northern Europe for a while, but Santa Village made Finland stand out to me.
Also, because the aurora is often visible, I wanted to visit the aurora because I wanted to see it.
>> Also, since the aurora is often visible there, I wanted to visit to see it.
The thrid country I want to visit is Dubai.
>> The third country I want to visit is Dubai.
This is also one of the places my mother visited and said it was good.
>> This is another place my mother visited and said was nice.
>> Or: My mom went there too and said it was a great place.
I\'ve never been to a Middle Eastern country yet, so I\'m curious.
>> CORRECT.
>> Or: I’m curious because I’ve never traveled to the Middle East.
I want to visit more because I heard that there are many luxurious places with large deserts and rich people.
>> CORRECT.
>> Or: What makes me more interested is hearing about the luxury, deserts, and wealth in Dubai.
However, there is a problem of women\'s rights or unstable security, so I think I wll consider whether to actually visit of not
>> CORRECT.
>> Or: Still, I’m a bit concerned about safety and women’s rights, so I’m not sure yet if I’ll go.
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