If you were given a 2-week vacation with some pocket money, where and how would you spend it? Share
학생이 쓴 원문
If I have a 2-week vacation and pocket money, I would backpack through Europe. It has been one of my buckit lists. I have been there once when I was twenty with my friend. It was my first travel to go abroad without my parents. I was so inexperienced at preparing for traveling. I was so obsessed at planning for the travel course, not to miss any important spot, so I could not enjoy the place enough, since I was under the pressure to complete my tight schedule. Moreover, I was too shy to talk with foreign friends comfortably at that time, so I could not talk with other travelers much. Even though it was an enjoyable experience, I really want to go Europe again, since there are so many things I missed. Now I have a courage to make some friends there and I can take my time to wander around on my own. Meeting new friends would refresh me and free myself from a narrow world. Since my daily life tends to be too limited to the hospital, I would like to see much bigger world.
강사 첨삭
Hello [이름]!
I admire your thirst for adventure. Being young and unafraid of what lies ahead during travel is the advantage you get from your youth. So while you can still do these kinds of adventure, by all means, you should travel and broaden your horizons. You deserve it after all for working so hard every time.
Below are some suggestions underscored for your convenience. Kindly go over them. Thank you for sending me this answer.
See you next week in class and here on the composition page!
-T. Donna =)
>> Correct!
Or: bucket (Spelling)
It was my first travel to go abroad without my parents. I was so inexperienced at preparing for traveling.
>> Correct!
I was so obsessed at planning for the travel course, not to miss any important spot, so I could not enjoy the place enough, since I was under the pressure to complete my tight schedule.
>> Correct!
Moreover, I was too shy to talk with foreign friends comfortably at that time, so I could not talk with other travelers much.
>> Correct!
Even though it was an enjoyable experience, I really want to go Europe again, since there are so many things I missed.
>> Even though it was an enjoyable experience, I really want to go to Europe again, since there are so many things I missed.
Now I have a courage to make some friends there and I can take my time to wander around on my own.
>> Now I have the courage to make some friends there and I can take my time to wander around on my own.
Meeting new friends would refresh me and free myself from a narrow world.
>> Correct!
Since my daily life tends to be too limited to the hospital, I would like to see much bigger world.
>> Since my daily life tends to be too limited to the hospital, I would like to see the much bigger world.
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