If you will be the most powerful man/woman in the world, what changes will you do? Why do you want t

2018-06-12 · 첨삭 강사 Irene

학생이 쓴 원문

I would like to changes many of things haha. First of all,I would like to change who has so bad crime. Most of people want to a peaceful world. Of course I want to too so if I'm a king of the world, I will solve the problems first. And then I would like to change environmental pollution. Nowadays we've got serious air pollution in Spring in my country. I am so sad because we couldn't go outside without a mask espeacially children and eldery people. It's getting increase who die for the problem. Lastly, I would like to fix all cancers for my abilty of the power. It's so badly sad to lost a member of famliy. It's kind of grief. So I need the power who could cure the cancer. It might be not happen to get the power but it is so exciting to thinking of that situation. Hopfully, I would like to get the power in the near future through the scientific technique.

강사 첨삭

Hello Mini! Happy Tuesday dear! I\'m giving you the power to improve your English skills. ^_^
~. T. IRENE~
I would like to changes many of things haha.
>>> I would like to changes many things haha.
>>> I would like to make a lot of changes.
First of all, I would like to change who has so bad crime.
>>> First of all, I would like to remove those committed a crime.
Most of people want to a peaceful world.
>>> This is because most people want a peaceful world.
Of course I want to too so if I\'m a king of the world, I will solve the problems first.
>>> Of course if I were the king of the world, I will solve this problem first.
And then I would like to change environmental pollution.
>>> After that, I would focus on solving environmental pollution.
Nowadays we\'ve got serious air pollution in Spring in my country.
>>> Nowadays, there is a serious air pollution in my country especially during the Spring season.
I am so sad because we couldn\'t go outside without a mask especially children and elderly people.
>>> I feel so sad because we couldn\'t easily go out without wearing a mask, especially young children and the elderly.
It\'s getting increase who die for the problem.
>>> The number of people who are dying because of this is increasing.
Lastly, I would like to fix all cancers for my ability of the power.

>>> Lastly, I would like to cure all types of cancer if I have the power to do so.
It\'s so badly sad to lost a member of family.
>>> It\'s really so sad to loose a member of the family to this disease.
It\'s kind of grief.
>>> People grieve so much because of that.
So I need the power who could cure the cancer.
>>> So I wish for the power to cure cancer.
It might be not happen to get the power but it is so exciting to thinking of that situation.
>>> In reality, it might be impossible to have that kind of power but it also exciting to think of having that special kind of power.
Hopfully, I would like to get the power in the near future through the scientific technique.
>>> Hopefully, I could get those powers in the near future through scientific means.

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