Importance of having a hobby
학생이 쓴 원문
Having a hobby is really important.
How people can only work and sleep?
Not only working but also having hobby is a true \'Work&Life Balance\'.
Also, having a hobby can develop our life efficiently.
We are getting interested about jobs related to hobbies.
Therefore, we should make a hobby and enjoy it.
강사 첨삭
Hello Julia! Fantastic job on completing your homework! Your original text needs some revisions for clarity and coherence. Here\'s a corrected version. I hope it helps.
Sincerely,
^^ T. Ara
Having a hobby is really important.
>>> Having a hobby is essential.
How people can only work and sleep?
How people can only work and sleep?
>>> How can people only work and sleep?
Not only working but also having hobby is a true \'Work&Life Balance\'.
>>> Not only working but also having a hobby contributes to a true \'Work & Life Balance.\'
Also, having a hobby can develop our life efficiently.
Also, having a hobby can develop our life efficiently.
>>> Additionally, having a hobby can enhance our lives efficiently.
We are getting interested about jobs related to hobbies.
>>> We become more interested in jobs related to our hobbies.
Therefore, we should make a hobby and enjoy it.
>>> Therefore, we should develop a hobby and enjoy it.
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