Importance of relaxing, foreign country
학생이 쓴 원문
I think relaxing is the most important thing we should do. It’s because when we want to rapidly finish our work, our condition should be better. Also, relaxing makes our feeling great.
1. Maybe it would be most people’s wish to go America. I hope to go New York in America. Because New York is famous city , there are various kinds of people.
2. I have not thought of that, but maybe I will go there after college graduation. Although I want to go as fast as I can , I still have things that I should do. Also, I don’t have enough money because I am a student.
3. Actually, I have been New York when I was young. While I was young I still remember the place was really beautiful especially buildings. I have been other countries as well but America was my favorite city style. And I have a lot of things that I want to do in there.
강사 첨삭
New York! :)
>> Correct.
It’s because when we want to rapidly finish our work, our condition should be better.
>> Correct.
Also, relaxing makes our feeling great.
>> Correct.
>> Correct.
1. Maybe it would be most people’s wish to go America.
>> Maybe, almost all people wishes to go to America.
>> Maybe, almost all people wishes to go to America.
I hope to go New York in America. Because New York is famous city , there are various kinds of people.
>> I hope I can go to New York because New York is a very famous city. There are various kinds of people living there.
>> 2. I have not thought of that, but maybe I will go there after graduating from college.
Although I want to go as fast as I can , I still have things that I should do.
>> Although I want to go as soon as I can , I still have things that I should do.
Also, I don’t have enough money because I am a student.
>> Correct.
3. Actually, I have been New York when I was young.
>> Correct.
While I was young I still remember the place was really beautiful especially buildings.
>> During that time, I can still remember the place being beautiful, and the buildings were really high.
I have been other countries as well but America was my favorite city style.
>> I have been to other countries as well, but America was my favorite city because it is what I want.
And I have a lot of things that I want to do in there.
>> And there are a lot of things that I want to do there.
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