In order to be successful in the world today - [이름] Yeojeong

The world demands more and more talented people as success has become the primary motive to all people living this era. However, besides all other essential skills, loving myself has top priority to be successful in the world today. First, loving myself helps people survive in this harsh, demanding society. People are exhausted doing their never-ending works which make them easy to forget who they are and why they live. However, people who love themselves can usually find values of the works they do which helps people stand in their desolate conditions. Also, there is an undoubtful logic which says people who love themselves are better at managing themselves. They have much greater motivations to move themselves. Hence they work harder, exercise regularly, and manage their time well. People can truly love someone else when they love and understand themselves. it is true that loving myself is a basic but difficult skill. However, people must have it since they are living this world.

Hi there Yeojeong! Thank you very much for  sharing your opinion with me. I had fun reading your essay and I couldn\'t agree more with your ideas. Very well done! Keep writing! I look forward to reading more essays from you. Here are the corrections I made for you. The world demands more and more talented people as success has become the primary motive to all people living this era. >>Correct! However, besides all other essential skills, loving myself has top priority to be successful in the world today. >>However, besides all other essential skills, loving myself is my top priority to be successful in the world today.First, loving myself helps people survive in this harsh, demanding society. >>First, loving myself helps me survive in this harsh, demanding society. People are exhausted doing their never-ending works which make them easy to forget who they are and why they live. >>Correct! However, people who love themselves can usually find values of the works they do which helps people stand in their desolate conditions. >>However, people who love themselves usually find values of the works they do which helps people stand in their desolate conditions.Also, there is an undoubtful logic which says people who love themselves are better at managing themselves. >>Correct! They have much greater motivations to move themselves. >>They have much greater motivations for themselves. Hence they work harder, exercise regularly, and manage their time well. >>Correct!People can truly love someone else when they love and understand themselves. >>Correct! it is true that loving myself is a basic but difficult skill. >>Correct! However, people must have it since they are living this world. >>However, people must have it to love fully.