In the past, most people used to travel to their place of work. With increased use of computers, the

2021-03-29 · 첨삭 강사 Irene

학생이 쓴 원문

There are many benefits of development technologies. One of the benefits is many workers are working at home because the network is connected around the world. Therefore, the workers who work at home do not need to trip to their place of work anymore. Moreover, they do not waste their commuting time. On the other hand, people can not concentrate on work, if they are working at home. If they have some children, working at home is harder because they have to take care of children and work. Furthermore, working at home is more difficult to guarantee personal life than working for the company.

강사 첨삭

Good evening Andy. Thank you for a very meaningful answer to this topic. ^_^
T. Irene
There are many benefits of development technologies. 
>>> There are many benefits to the  development of technologies. 
One of the benefits is many workers are working at home because the network is connected around the world. 
>>> One of the benefits is, many workers are now working at home because of the internet which connected everyone around the world. 
Therefore, the workers who work at home do not need to trip to their place of work anymore. 
>>> These work-from-home people need not travel anywhere for their work.  
Moreover, they do not waste their commuting time.
>>> This saves a lot of people travel time. 
On the other hand, people can not concentrate on work, if they are working at home. 
>>> On the other hand, some people can not concentrate when working at home. 
If they have some children, working at home is harder because they have to take care of children and work. 
>>>If they have children, working at home is hard because they have to take care of children and work at the same time.  
Furthermore, working at home is more difficult to guarantee personal life than working for the company.
>>> Furthermore, it is more difficult to guarantee a personal life than when working in an office.






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