In your opinion, what are the possible problems that your country might face with the increasing num
학생이 쓴 원문
As mentioned in the article, the inevitable problem would be decreased level of pension reserve saved for the future generation. In Korea, the company must pour at least 8.3% of the monthly salary into a pension scheme. Many workers are willing to accept the amount with the hope of receiving the money back after retirement. If their no guarantee for such a fund in the future, many workforces will be skeptical of the national pension fund system. The skepticism could lead to conflict between the young and old generations. The second is a decreased level of the workforce. South Korea has a high unemployment rate. However, most of those works are focused on general office jobs. Rising university graduates led people to avoid working for 3D industries or small-and-medium-sized companies. Korea could replace those workforces from overseas. However, South Korea is one of the countries with complicated visa systems. Accordingly, there is a need for government to revise the visa system.
강사 첨삭
Thank you for this Aciel!
As mentioned in the article, the inevitable problem would be decreased level of pension reserve saved for the future generation.
>>> correct
In Korea, the company must pour at least 8.3% of the monthly salary into a pension scheme.
>>> correct
Many workers are willing to accept the amount with the hope of receiving the money back after retirement.
>>> correct
If their no guarantee for such a fund in the future, many workforces will be skeptical of the national pension fund system.
>>> If there is no guarantee for such a fund in the future, many workforces will be skeptical of the national pension fund system.
>>> OR: If they are not guaranteed of such a fund in the future, many workforces will be skeptical of the national pension fund system.
The skepticism could lead to conflict between the young and old generations.
>>> correct
The second is a decreased level of the workforce.
>>> correct
South Korea has a high unemployment rate.
>>> correct
However, most of those works are focused on general office jobs.
>>> correct
Rising university graduates led people to avoid working for 3D industries or small-and-medium-sized companies.
>>> correct
Korea could replace those workforces from overseas.
>>> correct
>>> OR: Korea could supply that work field with overseas workers.
However, South Korea is one of the countries with complicated visa systems.
>>> correct
Accordingly, there is a need for government to revise the visa system.
>>> Accordingly, there is a need for the government to revise the visa system.
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