Influence of Social Media

2024-01-11 · 첨삭 강사 Ryka

학생이 쓴 원문

So many people are influenced by social media, especially teenagers. Of course, many people are, but the biggest feature of teenagers in particular is that they are forced to belong to the \'mainstream\'. They think that they must do what their friends around them do. They show off their purchases on social media, and make happy moments and take pictures. Then they spend a lot of time checking each other\'s posts. Sometimes it seems like are taking pictures for social media, and looking for happiness to show, not seeking real happiness. Some teenagers see other people\'s happy-looking posts and feel deprived of \'Why am I not as happy as they are?\' which leads to severe depression. As such, teenagers do not feel happy in their lives, and they risk spending more and more or living a show-like life.

강사 첨삭

Hey Wendy! I was fascinated with your perspective on this topic. It does show the real world now which is scary. Well, I\'m looking forward to talking with you soon!

--- Teacher Ryka^^

So many people are influenced by social media, especially teenagers. 
>>> CORRECT

Of course, many people are, but the biggest feature of teenagers in particular is that they are forced to belong to the \'mainstream\'. 
>>> CORRECT

They think that they must do what their friends around them do. 
>>> CORRECT

They show off their purchases on social media, and make happy moments and take pictures. 
>>> They show off their purchases on social media, make happy moments, and take pictures.

Then they spend a lot of time checking each other\'s posts. 
>>> CORRECT

Sometimes it seems like are taking pictures for social media, and looking for happiness to show, not seeking real happiness. 
>>> Sometime it seems like they are only taking pictures for social media and looking for happiness to show. not seeking real happiness.

Some teenagers see other people\'s happy-looking posts and feel deprived of \'Why am I not as happy as they are?\' which leads to severe depression. 
>>> Some teenagers see other people\'s happy-looking posts and ask themselves \'Why am I not as happy as they are?\' which leads to severe depression.

As such, teenagers do not feel happy in their lives, and they risk spending more and more or living a show-like life.
>>> CORRECT

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