Introduce myself to company
학생이 쓴 원문
Hi my name is [이름]. I really want to be part of this airline company. I majored the classical music in university. I graduated the university last year. After graduation, i went abroad to learn English. During this period, i figured out that i was really enjoying to make conversation with foreigners. So after i went back to Korea, i applied for company which have a lots opportunities to meet foreigners. But this company didn\'t fascinated my preference. So i stopped the work at there, and i know that airline companies are the best way to make an opportunity. I\'m willing to pour my whole effort to your company.
강사 첨삭
Hello [이름],
Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you.
Keep up the good work!
Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)
Hi my name is [이름].
>>> CORRECT
I really want to be part of this airline company.
>>> I really want to be a part of this airline company.
I majored the classical music in university.
>>> I majored in classical music in the university.
I graduated the university last year.
>>> I graduated in the university last year.
After graduation, i went abroad to learn English.
>>> After graduation, I went abroad to learn English. [Note: Always capitalize \"I\"]
During this period, i figured out that i was really enjoying to make conversation with foreigners.
>>> During this period, I figured out that I am really enjoying conversations with foreigners.
So after i went back to Korea, i applied for company which have a lots opportunities to meet foreigners.
>>> So after I went back to Korea, I applied to a company which has a lot of opportunities to meet foreigners.
But this company didn\'t fascinated my preference.
>>> But this company didn\'t fascinate my preference.
So i stopped the work at there, and i know that airline companies are the best way to make an opportunity.
>>> So I stopped working there, and I know that airline companies are the best job for me to always talk to foreigners.
I\'m willing to pour my whole effort to your company.
>>> I am willing to pour out all my effort to your company.
OR: I am willing to give my all to this company.
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