Introduce your school. - Interview script of international exchange student program

2021-08-12 · 첨삭 강사 Beth

학생이 쓴 원문

I love my university. My university is only national university in Seoul. So It can supports to Its students more. My university is a higher growing university. We’re outfoot and recognition is being higher. my university’s future is looks brighter. I think the situation thanks to great professors, teachers, and alumni. I love the professors and teachers whom I have met. They are kind and respect students as well as they are professional. so I’m touched that in many time. Their attitude encourages students. I want to be a successful alumna to announce more my university in future. Moreover, it has wide campus. It can realize your romantic dream about university! Its place looks like eco-friendly. There are many trees, flowers, and wide lake whose name is 붕어방. The lake was remodeled recently, so the walking trails is beautiful, specially at night. Beautiful campus makes visitor be happy. * please let me know what contents are needed and omit. I want to make it shorter.

강사 첨삭

I love my university. 
>>>> correct   
My university is only national university in Seoul. So It can supports to Its students more.
>>>> My university is the only national university in Seoul so it can supports its students more.
My university is a higher growing university. We’re outfoot and recognition is being higher.
>>>>  It is a high growing university where output and recognition are high.
my university’s future is looks brighter. 
>>>>  My university’s future looks brighter.  
I think the situation thanks to great professors, teachers, and alumni. 
>>>>  Thanks to great professors, teachers, and alumni.  
I love the professors and teachers whom I have met. 
>>>> correct  
They are kind and respect students as well as they are professional. 
>>>> They are kind and respect students. They are professional as well.   
so I’m touched that in many time. 
>>>> That always moves me.   
Their attitude encourages students. 
>>>> correct   
I want to be a successful alumna to announce more my university in future.
>>>> I want to be a successful alumna to talk more of my university in the future.    
Moreover, it has wide campus. 
>>>> Moreover, it has a wide campus.    
Its place looks like eco-friendly. 
>>>> Its looks eco-friendly.    
There are many trees, flowers, and wide lake whose name is 붕어방. 
>>>>  There are many trees, flowers, and a wide lake called 붕어방.   
The lake was remodeled recently, so the walking trails is beautiful, specially at night. 
>>>> The lake was remodeled recently, so the walking trails are beautiful, specially at night.    
Beautiful campus makes visitor be happy.
>>>>   A beautiful campus makes visitor happy.

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