Is Chuseork important?

2014-09-12 · 첨삭 강사 Myra

학생이 쓴 원문

I think Chuseork is important for Koreans. In modern society, people are too busy working and studying. So It's really hard for all family members get together. Korea has two big holidays : New year's day and Chuseok. National holidays like these are precious for modern people because it gives a chance to meet family members face to face. Most restaruatns do not open the door on national holidays. Employees do not go the company. They go back to their hometown and share delicious foods and a lot of stories. We keep in touch with familiy members. People can relax and enjoy time. Overtime, chances are low that all family members get together. I think Chuseork is important because it gives us a chance to get together and spend precious time with familiy members. Otherwise, we are not given a chance to see the whole family members.

강사 첨삭


Hi there Serena! (^^.)(\")

Finally it\'s Friday?
How\'s your day so far?
Hope to hear good news from you later.
Again, thank you for doing your homework tonight.
Great job my dear! ^^

My suggestion is to use more conjunctions and linking words to have fluency in your answers. :)
---Teacher Myra----

I think Chuseork is important for Koreans.
>>CORRECT
In modern society, people are too busy working and studying.
 
>>CORRECT
OR>> In this age of modernization, people become too engrossed with working or studying.
So It\'s really hard for all family members get together.
>>So, it\'s really hard for all family members to get together.
Korea has two big holidays : New year\'s day and Chuseok.
>>CORRECT
National holidays like these are precious for modern people because it gives a chance to meet family members face to face.
>>National holidays like these are precious for modern people because it gives them a chance to meet their family members face to face.
Most restaruatns do not open the door on national holidays.
>>Also, most restaurants do not open on national holidays.
Employees do not go the company.
>>Employees do not go to work. (Because not all employees are working in a company.)
They go back to their hometown and share delicious foods and a lot of stories.
>>They go back to their hometown, share delicious foods and share a lot of stories too.
We keep in touch with family members.
>>CORRECT
People can relax and enjoy time.
>>People can relax and enjoy their time.
OR>> It is also a time for people to relax and enjoy.
Overtime, chances are low that all family members get together.
 
>>CORRECT
OR>> Without holidays like this,  chances are low that all families can have a reunion.
I think Chuseork is important because it gives us a chance to get together and spend precious time with family members.
>>CORRECT
Otherwise, we are not given a chance to see the whole family member

>>CORRECT (or you can delete this sentence because it is already implied above)

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