Is gun control an effective way to control the crime? Explain your answer.

2020-04-14 · 첨삭 강사 Gemma

학생이 쓴 원문

I have no idea about using the gun because it is not allowed to use and possess the gun in Korea. I feel scared when I traveled the USA because I have heard that they allowed to purchase the gun by the law. Many people have experience that they feel frustrated at market ,in villages which population is small and on highway. I believe gun control is the most effective way to control because there are a lot of crime that occurs from usage of gun. I think humans can\'t control their emotion when we get mad so we sometimes make a drastic choice that might cause someone\'s death. I think the most effective way to control the crime is preventive activities. Education is one of the option to prevent the crime. A mature sense of citizenship is also key factor to decrease the crime rate.

강사 첨삭

Hi there Mr. [이름]~! ^^ Thanks for your answering the essay~! Keep it up!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I have no idea about using the gun because it is not allowed to use and possess the gun in Korea.
>>> I have no idea about using guns because it is not allowed to use and possess it in Korea.
I feel scared when I traveled the USA because I have heard that they allowed to purchase the gun by the law. 
>>> I feel scared when I traveled to the USA because I have heard that they allow to purchase guns legally. 
Many people have experience that they feel frustrated at the market, villages which population is small and on highways.
>>> CORRECT
 I believe gun is the most effective way to control crimes because there are a lot of crimes that occur from the usage of guns.
>>> CORRECT
 I think humans can\'t control their emotion when we get mad so we sometimes make a drastic choice that might cause someone\'s death. 
>>> CORRECT
I think the most effective way to control crimes is preventive activities
>>> CORRECT
Education is one of the options to prevent the crime. 
>>> CORRECT
A mature sense of citizenship is also a key factor to decrease the crime rate.
>>> CORRECT

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