Is health important?

2019-12-11 · 첨삭 강사 Elly

학생이 쓴 원문

On a fiction I read, a scientist, the main character of it, is eager to search for the most profound knowledge and want to eliminate all elements that he has to do for living like eating and sleeping, because these are useless for him. Finally, he invents a capsule which can protect and sustain the life of brain without the other organs, and transplants his brain into this. Unfortunately, this is impossible, if I would really wish that life pursuing only intangible values. Moreover, our physical parts are much more meaningful in order to get brighter spirit. People can interact with the whole things surrounded us and to give all sources which get us developed through our body beyond the meaning as the plate of our soul. When we are healthier, we can grab more chances to make enriched life. I do not think that this scientist would accomplish his goal and find the ultimate theory in nature. Because he has lost the most important elements to feel and learn the world.

강사 첨삭

Hello [이름],

Thank you!

I appreciate your enthusiasm in sharing your thoughts!

Have a great day!

Teacher ELLY.

Is health important?

On a fiction I read, a scientist, the main character of it, is eager to search for the most profound knowledge and want to eliminate all elements that he has to do for living like eating and sleeping, because these are useless for him.

>>From a fiction that I have read, a scientist, who is the main character, is eager to search for the most profound knowledge and want to eliminate all elements involved in his daily life like eating and sleeping, because these are useless activities in his opinion.

Finally, he invents a capsule which can protect and sustain the life of brain without the other organs, and transplants his brain into this.

>>Finally, he invents a capsule which can protect and sustain the life of a brain without the other organs, and wants it planted into his brain.

Unfortunately, this is impossible, if I would really wish that life pursuing only intangible values.

>>Unfortunately, this is impossible. I really wish that life only includes pursuing intangible values.

Moreover, our physical parts are much more meaningful in order to get brighter spirit.

>>Moreover, our physical world are much more meaningful and it is important to take care of these things in order for us to have a brighter spirit.

People can interact with the whole things surrounded us and to give all sources which get us developed through our body beyond the meaning as the plate of our soul.

>>People can interact with the things around them, and to feed their bodies from all kinds of sources which help them develop their body. This can nourish our soul beyond anything else.

When we are healthier, we can grab more chances to make enriched life.

>>When we are healthy, we can grab more chances to enrich our lives even more.

I do not think that this scientist would accomplish his goal and find the ultimate theory in nature.

>>I do not think that this scientist can accomplish his goal and find the ultimate theory from nature alone.

Because he has lost the most important elements to feel and learn the world.

>>Because he has lost the most important element in his search, and that is to feel and learn what is in the world.

          

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