Is it better to adjust a goal when it’s too hard or keep trying no matter what?
학생이 쓴 원문
I think we try to achieve a goal doing our best. But it\'s too hard and there is a limitation for success, we can adjust our goal more realistic. After we feel limitation and fail something, we might be feel depress, however, we learn about our capacity how much we can overcome. And it help us to build a new reasonable goal. Therefore, we should think that rather we had lesson from failure than we fall in depression due to the failure.
강사 첨삭
You explained your opinion clearly and showed a mature understanding of both perseverance and realism. I like how you emphasized doing one’s best first, then reflecting on limitations instead of giving up immediately. Your idea that failure can help us understand our own capacity is thoughtful and shows good self-awareness. To improve further, focus on smoothing sentence flow, using correct verb forms (for example, “we might feel depressed”), and avoiding repetition of ideas. Overall, your reasoning is logical and balance, keep practicing, and your writing will become even more natural and confident.
-Teacher Wela
I think we try to achieve a goal doing our best.
>> I think we should try to achieve a goal by doing our best.
>> I think we should try to achieve a goal by doing our best.
But it\'s too hard and there is a limitation for success, we can adjust our goal more realistic.
>> But if it becomes too hard and there is a limit to success, we can adjust our goal to be more realistic.
After we feel limitation and fail something, we might be feel depress, however, we learn about our capacity how much we can overcome.
>> After we face our limits and fail at something, we might feel depressed, however, we can learn about our capacity and how much we can overcome.
And it help us to build a new reasonable goal.
>> This helps us build a new, reasonable goal.
Therefore, we should think that rather we had lesson from failure than we fall in depression due to the failure.
>> Therefore, we should think that it is better to learn lessons from failure than to fall into depression because of it.
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