Is malnutrition a problem in your country? Why is there malnutrition in this century?

2020-11-06 · 첨삭 강사 Beth

학생이 쓴 원문

I believe that malnutrition is not serious problem in my country these days. But, of course, in the past when the economy was not as advanced as it is now, the proportion of malnutrition was definitely higher than now. So, I would say malnutrition is still a worrying concern in some developing countries for some reasons. I think the main reason is that they cannot make money because there are not many jobs so they cannot afford to buy some food. In addition, because of weather condition such as extreme drought, people cannot do farm work. Speaking of the lack of jobs, in some developing countries, corruption is really serious. So, if illegalities and corruption are eradicated, malnutrition could be resolved by creating jobs. In addition, I think that food is not properly distributed. In some countries, food wasting problem is severe while a shortage of provisions is serious in other countries. If this problem gets resolved, malnutrition and food wasting would be resolved as well.

강사 첨삭

Thank you once again for this [이름] [이름].

I believe that malnutrition is not serious problem in my country these days. 
>>> I believe that malnutrition is not a serious problem in my country these days.   
But, of course, in the past when the economy was not as advanced as it is now, the proportion of malnutrition was definitely higher than now. 
>>> correct  
So, I would say malnutrition is still a worrying concern in some developing countries for some reasons. 
>>> correct  
I think the main reason is that they cannot make money because there are not many jobs so they cannot afford to buy some food. 
>>> correct    
In addition, because of weather condition such as extreme drought, people cannot do farm work. 
>>> correct  
Speaking of the lack of jobs, in some developing countries, corruption is really serious. 
>>> correct  
So, if illegalities and corruption are eradicated, malnutrition could be resolved by creating jobs. 
>>> correct   
In addition, I think that food is not properly distributed. 
>>> correct   
In some countries, food wasting problem is severe while a shortage of provisions is serious in other countries. 
>>> correct  
If this problem gets resolved, malnutrition and food wasting would be resolved as well.
>>> correct    

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