Is obesity a disease?
학생이 쓴 원문
강사 첨삭
Hi, Sian! ^_^
Thank you very much for doing your homework!
I\'m really impressed with your essay. ^^
I do agree that obesity is a disease and it needs to be managed to prevent it from causing a cascade of diseases like atherosclerosis, heart attack, stroke and renal failure.
Maintaining a healthy lifestyle is the secret.
I hope you\'re having a great day.
See you later in class.^^
~Teacher Charry
I think obesity is a disease.
>> CORRECT!
If the obesity rate is low, it\'s not a serious problem.
>> CORRECT!
But when it gets serious, it can be dangerous to human.
>> CORRECT!
It\'s because it can bring other diseases like diabetes or high blood pressure other than the obesity.
>> CORRECT!
These are very fatal to human.
>> CORRECT!
If it gets worse, people can die because of them.
>> CORRECT!
So it is necessary to control the diet they eat and work out regularly so that the obesity doesn\'t interrupt our well being.
>> So it is necessary to control the diet and work out regularly so that (the) obesity doesn\'t interrupt our well being.
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.