Is progress always good?
학생이 쓴 원문
Making progress is good, but not always.Think about the technological development which, people believe, makes people’s lives easier and more comfortable. When a computer was invented with a file storage and electronic mailing feature, many people predicted that the use of paper would be significantly reduced. However, the reality is that we are using much more papers these days than before. When a cellular phone was rolled out in the market, we expected to have a better life through easy and fast communication with others regardless of where you are. Although our lives became much convenient and easier than in the past, we can hardly enjoy our free time from work. Even after work or when we take a vacation, we are still required to be connected to company’s email account or to be contacted via your cell phone. So we virtually work for 24/7. We benefit a lot from progress, but we also give in many things in return for that. Sometimes, we miss the time when there was no cell phones.
강사 첨삭
Hello there Sir [이름]!
Thank you for a great composition.
Happy mid-week! How is your week going? How\'s the weather in Korea?
I hope that you are having an easy day at work.
I do miss the time that there were no cell phones. How about you?
Let us talk about this later in class. See you!
Teacher Nina
>> Correct!
Think about the technological development which, people believe, makes people’s lives easier and more comfortable.
>> Think about the technological development which people believe that makes their lives easier and more comfortable.
When a computer was invented with a file storage and electronic mailing feature, many people predicted that the use of paper would be significantly reduced.
>> When computer was invented with a file storage and electronic mailing feature, many people predicted that the use of paper would be significantly reduced.
However, the reality is that we are using much more papers these days than before.
>> However, the reality is that we are using more papers these days than before.
When a cellular phone was rolled out in the market, we expected to have a better life through easy and fast communication with others regardless of where you are.
>> When cellular phones rolled out in the market, we expected to have a better life through easy and fast communication with others regardless of where you are located.
>> OR: When cellular phones rolled out in the market, we expected to have a better life through easy and fast communication with others regardless of the place where you are located.
Although our lives became much convenient and easier than in the past, we can hardly enjoy our free time from work.
>> Although our lives became much convenient and easier than in the past, we hardly enjoy our free time at work.
>> Better : Although our lives became more convenient and easier than in the past, we hardly enjoy our free time at work.
Even after work or when we take a vacation, we are still required to be connected to company’s email account or to be contacted via your cell phone.
>> Even after work or when we take a vacation, we are still required to be connected to the company\'s email account or to be contacted via our cell phone.
>> OR: Even after work or during vacation, you are still required to be connected to the company\'s email account or to be reached via your mobile phone.
So we virtually work for 24/7.
>> So we virtually work 24/7.
We benefit a lot from progress, but we also give in many things in return for that.
>> Correct!
Sometimes, we miss the time when there was no cell phones.
>> Correct!
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.