Is promotion at work something you would want or aim for?

2021-05-06 · 첨삭 강사 Beth

학생이 쓴 원문

The promotion would not be the utmost goal that I aim for. I would be happy to get the promotion because the pay rate and the annual leave would increase. Alongside this, there would be more possibility that the company would accept my decision. However, rights are always accompanied by duties. I would have to take responsibility for every decision made within the team. Above all, I must take care of the teammates if I take the managerial role. There would be some time that I must collectively take responsibility and penalize for problems that I have not done. Therefore, I wish to take a promotion when I ready to be a skillful and empathetic leader.

강사 첨삭

The promotion would not be the utmost goal that I aim for. 
>>>>  correct   
I would be happy to get the promotion because the pay rate and the annual leave would increase. 
>>>> correct   
Alongside this, there would be more possibility that the company would accept my decision. 
>>>> Alongside this, there would be more possibilities that the company would accept my decision.    
However, rights are always accompanied by duties. 
>>>> correct   
I would have to take responsibility for every decision made within the team. 
>>>>  correct  
Above all, I must take care of the teammates if I take the managerial role. 
>>>>  correct  
There would be some time that I must collectively take responsibility and penalize for problems that I have not done. 
>>>> correct   
Therefore, I wish to take a promotion when I ready to be a skillful and empathetic leader.
>>>>   Therefore, I wish to take a promotion when I am ready to be a skillful and empathetic leader. 

파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.

다른 영어첨삭교정 보기

영어첨삭교정 ·