Is smartphone addiction a real social problem, or just media exaggeration?
학생이 쓴 원문
2. ESSAY
Is smartphone addiction a real social problem, or just media exaggeration?
These days, many media outlets report that smartphone addiction has emerged as a serious social problem. I have the same opinion with them. According to a recent survey, 76.5% of students said smartphone use has reduced their attention span and negatively affected their academic performance. Even for adults, it\'s quite difficult to control their smartphone screen time. Many people say using smartphones before going to bed interferes with quality sleep and can even contribute to poor eyesight. Thus, I believe it is helpful to set appropriate time limits on smartphone use for our own well-being.
강사 첨삭
[이름],
You supported your opinion cleanly with stats, clear logical points, and a solid conclusion. I\'m impressed!
~ Trixia
CONTENT:
These days, many media outlets report that smartphone addiction has emerged as a serious social problem.
~ CORRECT.
I have the same opinion with them.
~ I share the same opinion (as them/as they do). / I agree with them.
According to a recent survey, 76.5% of students said smartphone use has reduced their attention span and negatively affected their academic performance.
~ CORRECT.
Even for adults, it\'s quite difficult to control their smartphone screen time.
~ Even for adults, it\'s quite difficult to control screen time.
Many people say using smartphones before going to bed interferes with quality sleep and can even contribute to poor eyesight.
~ Many people say using smartphones before going to bed interferes with sleep quality and can even contribute to poor eyesight.
Thus, I believe it is helpful to set appropriate time limits on smartphone use for our own well-being.
~ CORRECT.
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