Is the traditional ways of behavior are no longer relevant to the modern life?
학생이 쓴 원문
In modern age, The human’s life have changed significantly compared to the past, due to development of the technology. Anyone who lived in 1970’s would never expected that telephone switchboard operator vanished because of micro chips. And also they never expected to TV, radio, magazines, newspapers, vinyl records, and even arcade games could be contained within 6-inch device.
The traditional ways encountered to two ways, vanished or modified. In my opinion even though enduring changes are necessary, if it is possible to continue the traditional ways, it might be worthwhile. For example, for [이름]dreds years ago. When the class finished studying an entire book. Students gave the foods and alcohol to the teacher for their effort and gratitude. And nowadays when the class finished the course, they have a simple party with cookies and beverages and celebrate for their effort.
For [이름]dred years, this traditional way has been changed, but the essences are never changed.
강사 첨삭
A fantastic day to you Se [이름]~!^^ The arguments in the essay were exceptionally well-developed, consistently clear and well justified. You have effectively presented your ideas in an interesting and critical manner and you have presented a good quality and variety of examples. Keep it up!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
In modern age, the human’s life have changed significantly compared to the past, due to development of the technology.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Anyone who lived in 1970’s would never expect that telephone switchboard operator vanished because of micro chips.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
And also they never expected to TV, radio, magazines, newspapers, vinyl records, and even arcade games could be contained within 6-inch device.
>>> And also they never expect TV, radio, magazines, newspapers, vinyl records, and even arcade games could be contained within 6-inch device.
The traditional ways encountered to two ways, vanished or modified.
The traditional ways encountered to two ways, vanished or modified.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
In my opinion even though enduring changes are necessary, if it is possible to continue the traditional ways, it might be worthwhile.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
For example, for [이름]dreds years ago. When the class finished studying an entire book. Students gave the foods and alcohol to the teacher for their effort and gratitude.
>>> For example, [이름]dreds years ago, when the class was finished studying an entire book, students gave foods and alcohol to their teacher for their effort and gratitude.
And nowadays when the class finished the course, they have a simple party with cookies and beverages and celebrate for their effort.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
For [이름]dred years, this traditional way has been changed, but the essence has never changed.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
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