Is there a custom or tradition you want to change in your country?

2021-05-03 · 첨삭 강사 Beth

학생이 쓴 원문

The tradition that I want to change is holding a memorial service for ancestors. The primary purpose of the service is good, which is reuniting families for unity and praying for happiness. However, there is a tiring process waiting for female members of the family. The ceremony usually takes place at night, so the women must prepare all the dishes, which is over ten, from the morning. Male members generally sleep until very late and only participate when performing a memorial service. Alongside this, this memorial service has brought preference for sons within Korean society. According to the rule, and only male members could perform this service. Therefore, many older generations prefer male grandchild over female counterparts because grandsons hold the ceremony for them when they pass away.

강사 첨삭

Thank you for this Aciel. Very informative. 

The tradition that I want to change is holding a memorial service for ancestors. 
>>> correct 
The primary purpose of the service is good, which is reuniting families for unity and praying for happiness. 
>>>  OR: The primary purpose of the service is good, which is reuniting families and praying together for happiness.  
However, there is a tiring process waiting for female members of the family. 
>>> correct
>>> OR: However, a tiring process awaits the female members of the family.  
The ceremony usually takes place at night, so the women must prepare all the dishes, which is over ten, from the morning. 
>>> correct  
Male members generally sleep until very late and only participate when performing a memorial service. 
>>> correct  
Alongside this, this memorial service has brought preference for sons within Korean society. 
>>> Alongside this, this memorial service has brought preference for sons within the Korean society.   
According to the rule, and only male members could perform this service. 
>>>  According to the rule, only male members could perform this service.  
Therefore, many older generations prefer male grandchild over female counterparts because grandsons hold the ceremony for them when they pass away.
>>> correct  

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