Is travel helping the world?

2019-11-29 · 첨삭 강사 Beth

학생이 쓴 원문

The reason for why people are traveling is to experience what they couldn\'t experience in their natural moments. However, traveling is not only fullfill self-demand, but also influence on diverse part of the world. First of all, travellers make economic activity on the city they visit. Having food and drinks, place to sleep, and tourist spots they visit influences the city\'s money fluences so it could help on the place\'s development. Secondly, forms of travel is so diverse nowadays. Some people travel on purpose to service by volunteer. Charities, such as Habitat, or volunteers form church are on travel to the less developed countries or cities to help people in there. Therefore, I believe all kinds of travelling helps the world in diverse ways.

강사 첨삭

Hello Jessie! T[이름]k you for this. Good points, I do agree with the ones you mentioned here.
- T. Beth
======================
The reason for why people are traveling is to experience what they couldn\'t experience in their natural moments. 
>>>   The reason people are traveling is to experience what they couldn\'t experience in their usual routine.  
However, traveling is not only fullfill self-demand, but also influence on diverse part of the world.
>>>   However, traveling does not only fulfill self-demand, but also influences diverse parts of the world. 
First of all, travellers make economic activity on the city they visit. 
>>>  First of all, travelers make economic activities in the city they visit.   
Having food and drinks, place to sleep, and tourist spots they visit influences the city\'s money fluences so it could help on the place\'s development.
>>> Having food and drinks, place to sleep, and tourist spots they visit influences the city\'s money effluence so it could help on the place\'s development.   
Secondly, forms of travel is so diverse nowadays. 
>>> correct   
Some people travel on purpose to service by volunteer. 
>>>  ORSome people travel for the purpose of service by volunteering.   
Charities, such as Habitat, or volunteers form church are on travel to the less developed countries or cities to help people in there.
>>>  Charities, such as Habitat, or volunteers from churches travel to the less developed countries or cities to help people in there.  
Therefore, I believe all kinds of travelling helps the world in diverse ways.
>>> correct   

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