Is world peace a reality in our world?

2018-11-15 · 첨삭 강사 Lynn

학생이 쓴 원문

Peaceful mood is very important in the world. It is because human have to protect themselves from serious world wars. We already experienced World war 1 and Wolrd war 2, and we know that these wars occured a big damage all over the world. In my opinion, the probability of happening world wars with strong weapons like bomb, guns and so on is really low. It is because people already know that if world war happened again most people would die due to weapon of mass distruction. However, wars without gunfires still happen throughout the world. For example, a serious tax war is going on between the US and China. The US decided to impose higher tax on the chinese products which are imported to the US. The US complained about imbalance of trade between two countries. Because of a tax war between two giant countries, the world economy becomes too unstable. In addition, North korea is suffering from economic difficulties because of strict sanctions. North korea developed powerful nuclear weapons and threatened other countries to survive. The US promised to lift sanctions if North Korea give up having nuclear weapons. North korea is fighting against other countries, even though they don't use real weapons. In conclusion, all countries try to continue peaceful atmosphere in the world, but we have still battles without weapons. I hope people can find a good way to keep real peace. It is because people have learned that wars can destroy all human through twice world wars. I believe that real peace in the world will come true someday.

강사 첨삭

Hi there [이름](\",)

Although I wish and pray for world peace I know that this will never happen because some people would always want to be more powerful than the rest so they\'ll do anything to achieve their goal. That means power struggle. When that happens, peace is destroyed.

~T. Lynn   

Peaceful mood is very important in the world.

>> correct!

It is because humans have to protect themselves from serious world wars.

>> correct!

We already experienced World War 1 and World War 2, and we know that these wars occured a big damage all over the world.

>> We already experienced World War 1 and World War 2, and we know that these wars incurred big damage all over the world.

In my opinion, the probability of happening world wars with strong weapons like bomb, guns and so on is really low.

>> In my opinion, the probability of a world war with strong weapons like bomb, guns and so on is really low.

It is because people already know that if world war happened again most people would die due to weapon of mass distruction.
>> It is because people already know that if World War 3 happens, most people will die due to weapons that could cause mass destruction.
  However, wars without gunfires still happen throughout the world.
>> correct!
For example, a serious tax war is going on between the US and China.

>> correct!

The US decided to impose higher tax on the Chinese products which are imported to the US.

>> correct!

The US complained about imbalance of trade between two countries.

>> The US complained about the imbalance of trade between the two countries. 

Because of a tax war between two giant countries, the world economy becomes too unstable.
>> Because of the tax/trade war between the two giant counties, the world economy became unstable.
In addition, North korea is suffering from economic difficulties because of strict sanctions.

>> correct!

North korea developed powerful nuclear weapons and threatened other countries to survive.

>> correct!

The US promised to lift sanctions if North Korea give up having nuclear weapons.

>> The US promised to lift the sanctions if North Korea will give up having nuclear weapons.

North korea is fighting against other countries, even though they don\'t use real weapons.
>> correct!
In conclusion, all countries try to continue peaceful atmosphere in the world, but we have still battles without weapons.

>> correct!

I hope people can find a good way to keep real peace.

>> correct!

It is because people have learned that wars can destroy all human through twice world wars.

>> It is because people have learned lessons from the previous world wars.

I believe that real peace in the world will come true someday.

>> correct!

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