It is important to finish a university degree in three ways.
학생이 쓴 원문
It is important to finish a university degree in two ways. Firstly, It is hard to find out who I am and what I like during school age. If someone doesn\'t go to university, he or she will start work right after graduation from high school while not knowing his or her aptitude. While participating in a club or activity, we can meet lots of people who have similar thoughts. University students can share their thoughts about their career, and that might give a chance to find out who I am and what I like. Secondly, We can major in a subject we want and develop relevant knowledge. We can\'t choose the subjects we learn in school days. For example, a student who is good at language has to learn mathematics as mandatory, but in university, we get our major and study more about only one or two subjects we choose. In conclusion, every student needs to graduate from university because there are a lot of chances to know oneself and widen knowledge.
강사 첨삭
Hi Su [이름]! Thank you for spending a little of your time with your homework.
I agree with the conclusion given here. Finishing college gives us the opportunity to widen our perspective and knowledge. But on top of that, having a university degree gives us the opportunity to earn higher wages, better employment and financial health. ^ ^
-Teacher Jedah
It is important to finish a university degree in two ways.
>>It is important to finish a university degree and we can find that out in two ways.
Firstly, It is hard to find out who I am and what I like during school age.
>>CORRECT or
>>First, it is hard to find out who we really are and what we really like during school age.
If someone doesn\'t go to university, he or she will start work right after graduation from high school while not knowing his or her aptitude.
>>CORRECT
While participating in a club or activity, we can meet lots of people who have similar thoughts.
>>CORRECT
University students can share their thoughts about their career, and that might give a chance to find out who I am and what I like.
>>University students can share their thoughts about their career, and that might give a chance to find out who we are and what we like.
Secondly, We can major in a subject we want and develop relevant knowledge.
>>CORRECT
We can\'t choose the subjects we learn in school days.
>>We can\'t choose the subjects we have learned in earlier school years.
For example, a student who is good at language has to learn mathematics as mandatory, but in university, we get our major and study more about only one or two subjects we choose.
>>CORRECT
In conclusion, every student needs to graduate from university because there are a lot of chances to know oneself and widen knowledge.
>>CORRECT
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